Madonna-Whore Complex

[jonny rod]

I must say that I have this problem. i have a hard time seeing how a woman could be loyal and decent and also ravenously enjoy sex. I mean aren't all women sluts by nature just some haven't had the realization yet? This is a problem for me especially in the area of eventually getting married. I realize noone takes the concept of marriage seriously anymore as evidenced by the rampant divorce rates, but I do. I want a women who loves ME enough to want only me for a life time. Even if I did have an 11'' dick that could give her the best sex ever, what if it turns into an addiction for her and she wants variety? Aren't all women this way?

What really bothers me is the stories online about cheating wives, cuckolds, women turning into sluts after experiencing massive cock, etc. There IS SO MUCH OF THIS SHIT!! It makes me depressed. I realize that some of it is fantasy, but HOW MUCH OF IT IS TRUE? Good God, you'd think all women and marriages end up this way! and what the F is with these cheating wives PERSONALS SITES?? shit do all women get horny from the thought of betraying somebody?

sorry for the rant, I just feel lost.

JC ROD

[sikdogg]

There are going to be some that enjoy and want sex all the time and there are some that will be happy with one man. Why sweat over things you have no control over... Find a woman that you connect well and share similar interests and go from there. Worrying over whether she's going to cheat on you or whether she wants someone else's dick will just doom the relationship.

I think that jealous people (men and women) or people who expect the worse just create stress and uncertainty in relationships and will eventually be the reason for the breakup. Be confident in yourself and your choices in women and live your life to the best of your abilities. If she cheats on you... she would have no matter what you did. I say quit thinking about the what-if's and think about the positives. Hakuna Matata...

[penguinsfan]

I must say that I have this problem. i have a hard time seeing how a woman could be loyal and decent and also ravenously enjoy sex.

Dude, I kinda know what you mean. Ideally, I would like to marry, have kids, and do the whole family thing. It's the normal, healthy thing to do for most people and it has its appeal. However, I don't think I can last in such a relationship without good sex. The girls that are genuinely sweet and have great desireable personality characteristics and good moral character may or may not turn into your personal sex fiend. Seems like a hit or miss.

Your women with a ravenous sexual appetite will probably indeed take care of your personal needs, but yes you do have to wonder if they'll be taking care of your needs exclusively. As much as I need good sex, I don't think I could ever have a relationship with someone that had been around the block several times in most any ride imaginable. I don't think I'll ever be able to do high mileage, no matter how nice the ride looks. I guess I'm looking for a chick with relatively little experience or a low number of partners that seems to value the love and emotional aspects of sex above all else and that is very open minded in the activity itself. If the idea of cum and the possibility of swallowing and such shit is disgusting in her eyes, she needs to look elsewhere.

[millionman]

There you go Penguinsfan. By the way the pens are horrible, and with Crosby too. Sorry, back to what I was saying. I am actually pretty lucky in the regard of women and experiences, but even then the prudishness comes out. The girl that I've known for a long time and am really open with about sex has never actually had sex, or much of any physical involvement at all, yet she thinks she would like rough sex. I'm all about it, now I just got to get into the right situation, of my own creation and we'll see what goes down.

[prince Albert]

Dude, I kinda know what you mean. Ideally, I would like to marry, have kids, and do the whole family thing. It's the normal, healthy thing to do for most people and it has its appeal. However, I don't think I can last in such a relationship without good sex. The girls that are genuinely sweet and have great desireable personality characteristics and good moral character may or may not turn into your personal sex fiend. Seems like a hit or miss.

Your women with a ravenous sexual appetite will probably indeed take care of your personal needs, but yes you do have to wonder if they'll be taking care of your needs exclusively. As much as I need good sex, I don't think I could ever have a relationship with someone that had been around the block several times in most any ride imaginable. I don't think I'll ever be able to do high mileage, no matter how nice the ride looks. I guess I'm looking for a chick with relatively little experience or a low number of partners that seems to value the love and emotional aspects of sex above all else and that is very open minded in the activity itself. If the idea of cum and the possibility of swallowing and such shit is disgusting in her eyes, she needs to look elsewhere.

I'm guessing you two are fairly young and inexperianced judging by your comments,just because a woman is good in bed and has a high sex drive does not mean she has had loads of dick or that she will cheat.

Reread what sikdogg said he was spot on.

[penguinsfan]

What really bothers me is the stories online about cheating wives, cuckolds, women turning into sluts after experiencing massive cock, etc. There IS SO MUCH OF THIS SHIT!! It makes me depressed. I realize that some of it is fantasy, but HOW MUCH OF IT IS TRUE? Good God, you'd think all women and marriages end up this way! and what the F is with these cheating wives PERSONALS SITES?? shit do all women get horny from the thought of betraying somebody?

Oh, I meant to reply to this part of the post too. Jonny, a largely percentage of what you read in porn is bullshit. Not all of it, but a considerable portion. Go look through a few issues of Penthouse Letters magazine, which is probably the premier mainstream publication for erotic stories and letters. You can tell most of the letter use similar writing style and shit and you'll realize that it is the same writers creating most of it. Are they all fiction? No, but don't think it's entirely reality either.

You will notice that a fair number of these letters have a common theme: A man comes home early from a trip and finds his wife, who had never been with anyone else, getting gang-banged and he loves watching unnoticed and cannot wait to eat her cum-filled pussy out once they leave. Okay, that is not reality. Guys might be aroused reading such a story because they fantasize about being such a sex-crazed chick, but they sure as hell don't want that to be THEIR woman. I have never spoke to any man that is anything but repulsed by the idea of eating pussy after someone else had just fucked his girl. That shit isn't real. I mean, of course there are a small number of guys out there with obscure fantasies of this nature, but they don't represent the amount of that shit published either. Most anything written about has probably happened somewhere, but what I'm saying is it isn't commonplace.

A friend of mine had some Penthouse magazines that were old, as he got them from some friend whose dad had left his stash or something. I believe they were from the late 70's. What I remember about them is the erotic stories had almost nothing about threesomes, gangbangs, group activities, and not even much interracial. It was far different than what is published today, because these "letters" basically tend to reflect whatever is popular in porn.

So, while there is undoubtedly some truth out there in these stories and accounts, there is FAR MORE bullshit. Quite often, it's a business. Go to an adult personals site and respond to some "female ads". You'll find some legit ads, I'm sure, but you'll find a lot of it is leading to web sites. Cheating is always a concern, but don't let the stories you read from adult-oriented sources persuade you away from a relationship.

[penguinsfan]

There you go Penguinsfan. By the way the pens are horrible, and with Crosby too.

Oh, it's painful. Still, I love to watch them. The young guns are doing all the scoring. We got a steal of a prospect in Michel Oullet and we'll have Evgeni Malkin next year, who made Team Russia while Alexander Ovechkin did not. Some of the veterans we have don't seem to fit into the program and we definitely have seen some of the high-potential signings not work out for us. The future is bright though.


The girl that I've known for a long time and am really open with about sex has never actually had sex, or much of any physical involvement at all, yet she thinks she would like rough sex.

Sure. Just because she's never had sex doesn't mean she won't want too or that she won't be open and adventurous. I just advocate discovering this shit early, because my last fuck was sensational beyond my wildest expectations and I cannot live with boring sex ever again.

[penguinsfan]

I'm guessing you two are fairly young and inexperianced judging by your comments,just because a woman is good in bed and has a high sex drive does not mean she has had loads of dick or that she will cheat.

Reread what sikdogg said he was spot on.

I have no great amount of sexual experience. Experience can be overrated. Hell, if I have sex 10,000 times it will still be less experience than I'd like to have. ;) I suppose I am highly inexperienced in relationships. I've never had a steady fling going. Doesn't bother me, just the hand I've been dealt.

I agree with you that a just because a woman is can bring it or wants it all the time does not mean that she is likely to cheat. Just depends on her circumstances and other traits.

I totally disagree with you about having had loads of dick. If she's slept with MANY different guys, odds are you may not be the best and she might be longing for something. Odds are also that if she has slept with many different guys, she may have cheated in a past relationship because there are only two other scenarios.

The first is that she has had a heavy amount of casual sex without any relationship attached at all. Think about how you'd like to have that in your woman's past. Suppose you have a major argument and she goes to hangouts at one of her girlfriend's places for a few hours and they had out for a night of drinking. You think it's plausible that some guy just might try and take her home and that if she's had several other one-nighters and pissed off at you that she could rationalize it in her drunken mind? You think it just might be that the guy trying to hook-up with her might not give a shit about you and take full advantage of the situation? I think I'd say "yes" on both accounts. The reality is the less hooking up a chick has done the less likely it is that hooking up with someone else will seem like second nature to her.

The other scenario is that most of her sex has been with past boyfriends, but she has had a really high number of them. Well, if some chick tells me she's never fucked any guy she wasn't dating but that she's fucked 25 guys I'm going to be thinking she seems challenged in keeping a stable relationship. God only knows what the underlying problems or issues could be, but it should send up red flags. Again, it kinda goes back to whatever she has done a lot of will probably seem like second nature to her and she'll be more likely to repeat in the future. In my latter example, that would be ending the relationship instead of trying to resolve issues.

Of course a person can find exceptions to anything and I'm sure there are some girls out there that have really been around that are looking to settle down and would make a good partner. However, I really think there much more the exception than the rule. I remain convinced that a large number of sex partners means getting involved with the girl in a relationship is a real gamble.

For the record, I do think sikdogg was right about not getting too uptight and letting it get the best of you. You cannot let it eat you up inside and you can't be such a paranoid asshole that you end up driving them to seek attention elsewhere.

[DWTS00]

Humans are deff NOT monogamous, even if they dont cheat theyre just polygamous without cheating refered to as serial monogamy in which the person leaves the other person before being with some1 else.

Humans(both sexes) are deff not designed to be with only person it doesnt make sense

[AlreadyPackin']

Maybe a couple thousand years ago, but we didn't even have shoes then:s . How does it not make sense? It seems to make sense for raising kids, and always having someone in your corner. sikkdog and prince Albert were dead-on.

[stillwantmore]

The original poster is making many generalizations there. In other words you seem to be lumping all women into one category if....gasp...they really really like sex. You could say the same of any man who loves sex....that he MUST just go around dipping his dick in anything he can find. This is not only untrue, and unfair but also a very narrow minded approach that will only end up with you limiting your views on how women 'must' be. You also sound like a person that has some serious trust issues for whatever the reason. Perhaps it is the way you were raised, or something you experienced growing up that you may need to see a professional over to sort these issues out. From my own experience, an untrusting person usually and almost always has problems trusting themselves first.

Not a personal attack, I mean heck I dont even know you. I'm just trying to give some food for thought.

So what if a man, or woman has had multiple sex partners? Some questions that matter: Do they have children from each one? Do they have STDs? Do they value their current relationship with you? Is there a mutual feeling of trust between you? A persons' past should be just that.

[DWTS00]

Maybe a couple thousand years ago, but we didn't even have shoes then:s . How does it not make sense? It seems to make sense for raising kids, and always having someone in your corner. sikkdog and prince Albert were dead-on.

yeah wut they said was good but what does it have to do with what I was saying lol


I have no problem with people being non-monogamous or people cheating or wutever its none of my bussiness and I will never be in a steady relationship and never have kids both are useless IMO and offer no benefits some people dont accept the facts humans are not as innocent as we are led to believe like george carlin said" a rat will do real disgusting shit but a rat will not fuck another dead rat only humans will"

50% +/- of women do cheat in the US which means 1 in 2 or 5 out of 10 so if there are only 2 guys with gf/wives on here one of them is sharing his woman..and its not as u think people can go on married untill they died and no1 will find out but the fact remains they have cheated....everyone worried now?? lol Im just messin with ya but hey u never know

[funkydiscochik]

Ok, now it's time for a reply from a woman's perspective....

First of all, EVERYONE LOVES SEX! Men & women alike!
Lemme ask you this, if you ARE the type that ravenously enjoys sex and you were with a woman who DIDN'T, wouldn't the tables turn? Would you think about cheating? Like others who have replied before me, if you do nothing but sit around and worry that the other person is cheating NEITHER of you will have any enjoyment, sexually or otherwise. If sex turns into an addiction for your woman, TALK to her about it. And besides, if SEX WITH YOU turns into an addiction, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? I think everyone would love to know that their partner is addicted to sex with them. This doesn't mean that their addicted to sex with everyone. I mean, have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe you're that good??? I love having sex with my man but I would NEVER jeopardize the already AMAZING sex (and other wonderful aspects of our relationship) I get just to attempt to see if there is anything better out there.

I know a lot of people cheat but hey, life goes on and things always become exposed and when they do, move on. There ARE still people out there that are looking for a meaningful relationship.

So don't worry be happy mon!rofl

[DWTS00]

Ok, now it's time for a reply from a woman's perspective....

First of all, EVERYONE LOVES SEX! Men & women alike!
Lemme ask you this, if you ARE the type that ravenously enjoys sex and you were with a woman who DIDN'T, wouldn't the tables turn? Would you think about cheating? Like others who have replied before me, if you do nothing but sit around and worry that the other person is cheating NEITHER of you will have any enjoyment, sexually or otherwise. If sex turns into an addiction for your woman, TALK to her about it. And besides, if SEX WITH YOU turns into an addiction, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? I think everyone would love to know that their partner is addicted to sex with them. This doesn't mean that their addicted to sex with everyone. I mean, have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe you're that good??? I love having sex with my man but I would NEVER jeopardize the already AMAZING sex (and other wonderful aspects of our relationship) I get just to attempt to see if there is anything better out there.

I know a lot of people cheat but hey, life goes on and things always become exposed and when they do, move on. There ARE still people out there that are looking for a meaningful relationship.

So don't worry be happy mon!rofl

No NO ur wrong...listen man shes gonna leave u for the next guy with a bigger dick sorry man.....:s

Seriously shes having sex with YOU and in a relationship with YOU what more do u need???

[funkydiscochik]

And one more thing... if she wants variety.... GIVE IT TO HER! There's nothing wrong with a little variety in the bedroom! If you're worried she'll look else where, keep her interested! I mean aren't we (women) the one's who are NOTORIOUS for having sex toys? Use her 'toys' to play with her, spank that ass, make it rough, whatever she likes. TURN UP THE HEAT MAN!:P

[AlreadyPackin']

yeah wut they said was good but what does it have to do with what I was saying lol


I have no problem with people being non-monogamous or people cheating or wutever its none of my bussiness and I will never be in a steady relationship and never have kids both are useless IMO and offer no benefits some people dont accept the facts humans are not as innocent as we are led to believe like george carlin said" a rat will do real disgusting shit but a rat will not fuck another dead rat only humans will"

50% +/- of women do cheat in the US which means 1 in 2 or 5 out of 10 so if there are only 2 guys with gf/wives on here one of them is sharing his woman..and its not as u think people can go on married untill they died and no1 will find out but the fact remains they have cheated....everyone worried now?? lol Im just messin with ya but hey u never know

I was just messin' with the 1000 years part, and wanted to know what you meant didn't make sense. I didn't mean to relate my agreement with sikkdog to that.
And Hell yeah, people cheat! I see it all the time. In fact, I get hit on more now that I am married. People don't take marriage as seriously these days, and many marry without thinking about what they are actually doing, then they think and are like "Oh SHIT!" I once had the same attitude about kids, and I still don't have any, and am not real amped about having any, but everyone says that changes once the first one pops up. Guess we'll have to see, eh?

[DWTS00]

I was just messin' with the 1000 years part, and wanted to know what you meant didn't make sense. I didn't mean to relate my agreement with sikkdog to that.
And Hell yeah, people cheat! I see it all the time. In fact, I get hit on more now that I am married. People don't take marriage as seriously these days, and many marry without thinking about what they are actually doing, then they think and are like "Oh SHIT!" I once had the same attitude about kids, and I still don't have any, and am not real amped about having any, but everyone says that changes once the first one pops up. Guess we'll have to see, eh?

I have a feeling Ill still hate marriage and kids till I die.rofl

About the marriage thing If ppl cant commit dont do it, I think that alot of people get married for the wrong reasons like following the mainstream, getting out of their old life etc... its really stupid.

[penguinsfan]

The original poster is making many generalizations there. In other words you seem to be lumping all women into one category if....gasp...they really really like sex. You could say the same of any man who loves sex....that he MUST just go around dipping his dick in anything he can find. This is not only untrue, and unfair but also a very narrow minded approach that will only end up with you limiting your views on how women 'must' be. You also sound like a person that has some serious trust issues for whatever the reason. Perhaps it is the way you were raised, or something you experienced growing up that you may need to see a professional over to sort these issues out. From my own experience, an untrusting person usually and almost always has problems trusting themselves first.

Not a personal attack, I mean heck I dont even know you. I'm just trying to give some food for thought.

So what if a man, or woman has had multiple sex partners? Some questions that matter: Do they have children from each one? Do they have STDs? Do they value their current relationship with you? Is there a mutual feeling of trust between you? A persons' past should be just that.

It is true that jonny rod is probably making too much out of fearing women that enjoy sex. It is certainly possible that a virgin chick can get an incredible sexual appetite once she rides the man pole. My best friend is in that situation. He was her first, and now she wants him to be her non-stop 24/7. Sometimes that happens, sometimes the complete opposite, and more often than not something in the middle.

But I myself totally standby my comments in the 8th post above, for whatever it's worth. Trends are trends. Probabilities are probabilities. Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule, but I would be real hesitant to risk my relationship (and financial nestegg) on what I hope to be an exception to the rule. You can listen to the stories of pornstars, women that make bad choices with their sexual behavior, prostitutes, etc. and you will see a trend that many of these women have had a troubled, abusive upbringing. Of course it doesn't mean that every last one of them did. That's a given. But it does mean that most of them did. One shrink or counselor after another will vouch for it--it's undeniable. Again nothing is certain for every individual, but the tendency and risk factor here is very real. Would you have unprotected sex with a prostitute? After all, I'm sure only a minority (though far above the general population) of them have something serious like HIV. The answer is only a fool would have unprotected sex with a prostitute because of the higher risk. Only a fool would be in self-denial as to the elevated chance of infidelity with a woman with a wild past. Because the past is quite often (and those are the key words) an indication to possible future behavior. To deny it is to expose yourself to greater risk, for the sake of political correctness.

While a woman enjoying sex does not mean anything in and of itself, I might be concerned if she starts talking about it on the first date, before dessert is ordered. I GUARANTEE you that, statistically, a women that has been with a large number of men has a higher probability of cheating. So, if she has a healthy sexual appetite with YOU, that's a hell of a good thing. If she has stories of wild sexual ventures with a large number of men, proceed with caution.

[DWTS00]

It is true that jonny rod is probably making too much out of fearing women that enjoy sex. It is certainly possible that a virgin chick can get an incredible sexual appetite once she rides the man pole. My best friend is in that situation. He was her first, and now she wants him to be her non-stop 24/7. Sometimes that happens, sometimes the complete opposite, and more often than not something in the middle.

But I myself totally standby my comments in the 8th post above, for whatever it's worth. Trends are trends. Probabilities are probabilities. Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule, but I would be real hesitant to risk my relationship (and financial nestegg) on what I hope to be an exception to the rule. You can listen to the stories of pornstars, women that make bad choices with their sexual behavior, prostitutes, etc. and you will see a trend that many of these women have had a troubled, abusive upbringing. Of course it doesn't mean that every last one of them did. That's a given. But it does mean that most of them did. One shrink or counselor after another will vouch for it--it's undeniable. Again nothing is certain for every individual, but the tendency and risk factor here is very real. Would you have unprotected sex with a prostitute? After all, I'm sure only a minority (though far above the general population) of them have something serious like HIV. The answer is only a fool would have unprotected sex with a prostitute because of the higher risk. Only a fool would be in self-denial as to the elevated chance of infidelity with a woman with a wild past. Because the past is quite often (and those are the key words) an indication to possible future behavior. To deny it is to expose yourself to greater risk, for the sake of political correctness.

While a woman enjoying sex does not mean anything in and of itself, I might be concerned if she starts talking about it on the first date, before dessert is ordered. I GUARANTEE you that, statistically, a women that has been with a large number of men has a higher probability of cheating. So, if she has a healthy sexual appetite with YOU, that's a hell of a good thing. If she has stories of wild sexual ventures with a large number of men, proceed with caution.

Possibly but some just sleep around and do commit without cheating you never know...sometimes the ones you never expect to cheat...DO!

[AlreadyPackin']

I have a feeling Ill still hate marriage and kids till I die.rofl

About the marriage thing If ppl cant commit dont do it, I think that alot of people get married for the wrong reasons like following the mainstream, getting out of their old life etc... its really stupid.

What is really sad is the clueless girl who marries some guy she has known for about 2 months, then moves somewhere with him, away from any of her family, friends, then is surprised when he "suddenly" changes into a jerk and starts mistreating her. Of course, since she moved, none of her support is around, so many just stay in the shitty situation.
A couple of the most faithful "prudes" I have been around turned out to be the herniest, bed-hoppingest freaks around. The old book by its cover cliche' comes to mind.

[DWTS00]

What is really sad is the clueless girl who marries some guy she has known for about 2 months, then moves somewhere with him, away from any of her family, friends, then is surprised when he "suddenly" changes into a jerk and starts mistreating her. Of course, since she moved, none of her support is around, so many just stay in the shitty situation.
A couple of the most faithful "prudes" I have been around turned out to be the herniest, bed-hoppingest freaks around. The old book by its cover cliche' comes to mind.

Deff. Its the quiet ones you should keep an eye on rofl

[penguinsfan]

Possibly but some just sleep around and do commit without cheating you never know...sometimes the ones you never expect to cheat...DO!

Probabilities, not absolutes. You never know when the Saints could beat the Colts, but we all know what is most likely.

[penguinsfan]

What is really sad is the clueless girl who marries some guy she has known for about 2 months, then moves somewhere with him, away from any of her family, friends, then is surprised when he "suddenly" changes into a jerk and starts mistreating her. Of course, since she moved, none of her support is around, so many just stay in the shitty situation.

Yeah, that is obviously a shitty situation, but I don't think that happens much. Most of the time, one can tell a woman has real bitch potential or a man has real asshole potential pretty early on. Usually, it's just that people are in self denial.

That best friend of mine that had the virgin turn freak in the sack is getting bled dry. He brings home all the cash while she wastes her time on activism causes that he is politically opposed to. He is to some degree too dumb to see what all has happened and rationalizes it, and he doesn't have the heart to end the relationship. At the same time, the chick that sits right by me at work is cool as hell, but continues a relationship with a guy that beats her---and her last boyfriend beat her too. It's just got to the point where everytime she talks about breaking up with him we all laugh and make fun of her. What else am I supposed to do? She clearly can't think worth a fuck, so the only hope is to embarrass her into realizes how foolish she is. Both of these cases I could see coming a mile away. That's how it is 99.5% of the time.

[EVO]

I think that jealous people (men and women) or people who expect the worse just create stress and uncertainty in relationships and will eventually be the reason for the breakup. Be confident in yourself and your choices in women and live your life to the best of your abilities. If she cheats on you... she would have no matter what you did. I say quit thinking about the what-if's and think about the positives. Hakuna Matata...

exactly - my way of thinking of it is: you cant stop someone cheating. you just cant, the more you try the more they will want to succeed. focus on being "that great love" the guy that doesnt get jealous, the guy thats not controlling and the guy that doesnt try to change her. if you are this good to her and she still cheats - basically its her loss! i lost a girl friend to cheating, it hurt alot! but i look back and laugh now. i have made myself more successfull in the past years, whereas she has just had a kid and on income support. to think that if she hadnt cheated on me - i would never have found pe (so would still have a 5x5 dick). i wouldnt have the confidence or sexual experience i have now. so im actaually gratefull :) thanks you slag!! :D

[penguinsfan]

i lost a girl friend to cheating, it hurt alot! but i look back and laugh now. i have made myself more successfull in the past years, whereas she has just had a kid and on income support.

Dude, be sure to rub it in her face if the opportunity presents itself.

[against_odds21]

Dude, I kinda know what you mean. ...

I would venture to say that when guys age this feeling tends to fade away.

[penguinsfan]

I would venture to say that when guys age this feeling tends to fade away.

What do you mean? When I grow good and old, I won't worry about past behavior as a predictor?

[jonny rod]

Alot of you bring up some really good points. I guess I am just young and insecure.

and as for sexual variety with women, there has to be other ways than using sex toys. To me these things represent insecurity in your own abilities.

whoa DWTSOO, you have a more negative worldview than me and I'm pretty bad off. I agree that humans are pretty fucked up, but you know why this is? Because WE"RE TOO DAMNED INTELLIGENT! Any race that spends time trying to find more efficient ways of pulverizing each other is DOOMED. Lol. :P

However, if you despise having kids that much you must hate yourself and your genetics. Children are nothing more than an extension of YOU. It must suck to be that self negating.


JC Rod

[DWTS00]

Alot of you bring up some really good points. I guess I am just young and insecure.

and as for sexual variety with women, there has to be other ways than using sex toys. To me these things represent insecurity in your own abilities.

whoa DWTSOO, you have a more negative worldview than me and I'm pretty bad off. I agree that humans are pretty fucked up, but you know why this is? Because WE"RE TOO DAMNED INTELLIGENT! Any race that spends time trying to find more efficient ways of pulverizing each other is DOOMED. Lol. :P

However, if you despise having kids that much you must hate yourself and your genetics. Children are nothing more than an extension of YOU. It must suck to be that self negating.



JC Rod


Nah, I just hate kids I mean whats the point of kids...they dont make u money , they dont have sex with you(well atleast not with me Im not into that lol) , theyre annoying, too loud and always wanna listen to some wierd shit when theyre in the car no mother fuckers its Metal all the way lol.

yeah I dont hate kids as long as Im not taking care of them....rofl

[penguinsfan]

and as for sexual variety with women, there has to be other ways than using sex toys. To me these things represent insecurity in your own abilities.

That much I can relate to. They're so common and accepted (compared to males) with females that most anyone can find something that really works for her. I would hate to think that I am nothing more than second place, sexually, to some chick when compared to the plastic and that having sex is little more than her keeping me content.

[bIgjOe]

That much I can relate to. They're so common and accepted (compared to males) with females that most anyone can find something that really works for her. I would hate to think that I am nothing more than second place, sexually, to some chick when compared to the plastic and that having sex is little more than her keeping me content.
Yeah man, fuck that! I could just kill the fucking guy who invented the dildo, I really could! Are we to become a race of vaginal plumbers who are allowed to get off occasionally if we be good little boys? Fuck that!>:(

[jonny rod]

And how the hell are you supposed to know how many previous partners a woman's had? Do you actually think they'd tell you the truth on this???

[penguinsfan]

And how the hell are you supposed to know how many previous partners a woman's had? Do you actually think they'd tell you the truth on this???

Good question. Rule of Three from American Pie, maybe? ?:(

[funkydiscochik]

And how the hell are you supposed to know how many previous partners a woman's had? Do you actually think they'd tell you the truth on this???

Hmm.... what does this really matter? If she's been with only one person and the one person she was with had been with 100 people... isn't it kind of like she was with those 100 people as well??? Especially if she and her one partner didn't use protection. Focus on the present and the future. I know sometimes forgetting the past is hard but we have to make the effort to look away from it. ;)

[penguinsfan]

Hmm.... what does this really matter? If she's been with only one person and the one person she was with had been with 100 people... isn't it kind of like she was with those 100 people as well??? Especially if she and her one partner didn't use protection. Focus on the present and the future. I know sometimes forgetting the past is hard but we have to make the effort to look away from it. ;)

It's not a matter of STDs or health. Some people sleep with one person and get an STD, while some sleep with hundreds and never do. That can be checked and confirmed by a physician rather easily.

It is about the likelihood of a person cheating or giving up on the relationship in difficult times. As I mentioned earlier, a large number of sex partners means a person either thinks very little about engaging in casual one-nighters or has been through an exceptional amount of relationships. Either way, it is some concern for the well-being of your relationship. And while this might sound sexist, it is a much bigger red flag when a female is concerned. That is because men are biologically wired for casual sex, while women are more wired towards the love and relationship aspects. I mean, there is a reason where there are numerous books written for men about how to attract and seduce women, while there is basically not a real market for teaching women how to pick up men. So, if you think about the expression "been around the block" there may be a little cause for concern. And if a woman has been around the neighbor and a few adjoining municipalities that is a major red flag.

[bIgjOe]

It's not a matter of STDs or health. Some people sleep with one person and get an STD, while some sleep with hundreds and never do. That can be checked and confirmed by a physician rather easily.

It is about the likelihood of a person cheating or giving up on the relationship in difficult times. As I mentioned earlier, a large number of sex partners means a person either thinks very little about engaging in casual one-nighters or has been through an exceptional amount of relationships. Either way, it is some concern for the well-being of your relationship. And while this might sound sexist, it is a much bigger red flag when a female is concerned. That is because men are biologically wired for casual sex, while women are more wired towards the love and relationship aspects. I mean, there is a reason where there are numerous books written for men about how to attract and seduce women, while there is basically not a real market for teaching women how to pick up men. So, if you think about the expression "been around the block" there may be a little cause for concern. And if a woman has been around the neighbor and a few adjoining municipalities that is a major red flag.
Well said Penguin.

[thewife]

I thought I'd add a little experience of mine to put a twist on this already interesting thread.

When hubby and I met in HS, he was a jock. He was a popular senior I was a somewhat quiet and "goodie goodie" sophmore. He scoped me out, and choose me over all the little hot cheerleaders that drooled after him (granted, he had slept with just about all of them....they had no brains, and he can't stand that). So to make a long story short.....we started dating. Here's the twist. When we got into the inevitable "how many people have you slept with" conversation.....I LIED. BUT it wasn't the way you think....I said I HAD slept with like 4 guys, when really I had only slept with one (the guy I lost my "V" to).

SO, you see....women have a fucked up perception of what men want too. I thought he would think I was a cheesy, prude if I said "only one". When really, that is what attracted him.....the fact that I was indeed a good girl that had brains and class. When we first started having sex, I was a nympho. Couldn't get enough of that thing....then it slacked off.....now it's back full force. I've only been with 2 men in my life - my husband and my first. I have NO desire to hop around seeing if there is anything bigger or better - even though I am "highly sexed". I'm up for anything, role playing, anal, threesome, WHATEVER. That's not because I've been around the block - just because I happen to love fucking my man and getting off.

Now, in all honesty when I was about 18 I did go through a period where a guy at work romanced me and I ALMOST slept with him. Until it finally dawned on me (thank GAWD!) that he was nothing more than a physical attraction, and what we (hubby and I) had together was SO MUCH BETTER. Sooner or later the physical sizzle fades, and your left with all of the emotional passion - that is what sticks......not the size of your dick, or how many men you can be with.

I'm sure there are plenty of men out there (probably some on this board) that could MORE than satisfy me in bed....however.....they couldn't finish my sentences, or know that I get silly when I'm tired.....or change my baby's diapers at 4am......or fix me eggs when I'm hungover......when you click, and become one with each other.....no amount of "wishing, wanting, or searching for bigger and better" will deter your love for each other. Period.

Just another perspective for ya..............

[millionman]

Thewife, It is good to see that a woman who really loves her husband doesn't concern herself with the "bigger, better, deal". I haven't run into a girl, or woman who would up and leave her significant other for a big dick, but I'm still a young man. A woman can really and truly love a man for who he is and want to be with him and only him regardless of his short comings. We're all just human and if a relationship is going to survive the pitfalls of life it has to be stable, and stability only comes from being honest, repectful, and loving at all times. Thanks for the post, and if there's anything you'd like to add I think it would be very helpful to a large percentage of the men here to get that "diffferent perspective".

[penguinsfan]

Just another perspective for ya..............

That's great. Sounds like everything a great relationship should be.

Do you have any hot single friends that are into broke guys that need about six months of faithful dieting? :D

[thewife]

Actually I do. They are both single mothers :) Still need a date :) HA!!


That's great. Sounds like everything a great relationship should be.

Do you have any hot single friends that are into broke guys that need about six months of faithful dieting? :D

[thewife]

Exactly! I haven't met a woman like that either....but I suppose the do exsist. They will end up very unhappy, lonely women...if you ask me!

Also, why would any woman trade their guy in for another guy who has bigger equimpent, when there is PE?? Just show them the exersices, and hope for the best. In the end, the effort is worth 1,000 words.....IMHO.


Thewife, It is good to see that a woman who really loves her husband doesn't concern herself with the "bigger, better, deal". I haven't run into a girl, or woman who would up and leave her significant other for a big dick, but I'm still a young man. A woman can really and truly love a man for who he is and want to be with him and only him regardless of his short comings. We're all just human and if a relationship is going to survive the pitfalls of life it has to be stable, and stability only comes from being honest, repectful, and loving at all times. Thanks for the post, and if there's anything you'd like to add I think it would be very helpful to a large percentage of the men here to get that "diffferent perspective".

[iwant8inches]

Alot of you bring up some really good points. I guess I am just young and insecure.

and as for sexual variety with women, there has to be other ways than using sex toys. To me these things represent insecurity in your own abilities.

whoa DWTSOO, you have a more negative worldview than me and I'm pretty bad off. I agree that humans are pretty fucked up, but you know why this is? Because WE"RE TOO DAMNED INTELLIGENT! Any race that spends time trying to find more efficient ways of pulverizing each other is DOOMED. Lol. :P

However, if you despise having kids that much you must hate yourself and your genetics. Children are nothing more than an extension of YOU. It must suck to be that self negating.


JC Rod

No, way. Thinking that using toys in the bedroom is showing signs of insecurities in your ability. Sometimes it's about just fucking or getting off as hard as possible. In a relationship I would think that sexuality is obviously a personal thing, but like most things when you are involved with someone you need to share your feelings and desires so that you can be the person to fulfill your partner's wants/desires/"needs" etc. Exploring your sexuality shouldn't be constricted and definitely not confined. Be safe, be happy, and open up to each other about what those desires are in the bedroom. If your partner finds that you are not wild enough or the opposite is true then work it out, but above all else realize that sex isn't everything and if you think that only sex is the end all that will set you free and will make you happy then you are crazy. Anyone that would cheat and cheat and cheat or abuse someone's body and/or trust in a relationship doesn't deserve to be with the other person/deserves whatever treatment they get to some degree or another if people are advising you to "get out" and you ignore it. (That is to a degree as I know some people have had emotional/psychological trauma that just shouldn't be treated like that person is incapable of fleeing that type of relationship simply because they are stupid or naive or whatever...that's just not the case and is unfair to suggest) We all have had problems in relationships and we either work it out or don't, but we try to work it out because we care or should care. You will never mature if you fail to recognize your own flaws and mistakes of the past. I'd say a common fault of many young men and women is that we are insecure about our sexuality as well as being unsure about who we are and what it is we want out of a relationship, if we even need to be in a relationship at the moment in addition to failing to recognize what is healthy/unhealthy characteristics/behavior in a relationship. It takes time to get to a comfortable enough point where you are familiar with yourself and your partner. Usually we are too busy with our own problems whether that means being busy worrying about our own problems or ignoring them/failing to recognize them to even sustain a healthy relationship. When you are with someone you leave yourself open to feeling betrayed at some point and you just have to deal. We all have scars. At some point the jealousy and other bullshit fades and we mature and we are comfortable with who we are.

[thewife]

Agreed. And exactly my point.......well said.


No, way. Thinking that using toys in the bedroom is showing signs of insecurities in your ability. Sometimes it's about just fucking or getting off as hard as possible. In a relationship I would think that sexuality is obviously a personal thing, but like most things when you are involved with someone you need to share your feelings and desires so that you can be the person to fulfill your partner's wants/desires/"needs" etc. Exploring your sexuality shouldn't be constricted and definitely not confined. Be safe, be happy, and open up to each other about what those desires are in the bedroom. If your partner finds that you are not wild enough or the opposite is true then work it out, but above all else realize that sex isn't everything and if you think that only sex is the end all that will set you free and will make you happy then you are crazy. Anyone that would cheat and cheat and cheat or abuse someone's body and/or trust in a relationship doesn't deserve to be with the other person/deserves whatever treatment they get to some degree or another if people are advising you to "get out" and you ignore it. (That is to a degree as I know some people have had emotional/psychological trauma that just shouldn't be treated like that person is incapable of fleeing that type of relationship simply because they are stupid or naive or whatever...that's just not the case and is unfair to suggest) We all have had problems in relationships and we either work it out or don't, but we try to work it out because we care or should care. You will never mature if you fail to recognize your own flaws and mistakes of the past. I'd say a common fault of many young men and women is that we are insecure about our sexuality as well as being unsure about who we are and what it is we want out of a relationship, if we even need to be in a relationship at the moment in addition to failing to recognize what is healthy/unhealthy characteristics/behavior in a relationship. It takes time to get to a comfortable enough point where you are familiar with yourself and your partner. Usually we are too busy with our own problems whether that means being busy worrying about our own problems or ignoring them/failing to recognize them to even sustain a healthy relationship. When you are with someone you leave yourself open to feeling betrayed at some point and you just have to deal. We all have scars. At some point the jealousy and other bullshit fades and we mature and we are comfortable with who we are.

[penguinsfan]

Actually I do. They are both single mothers :) Still need a date :) HA!!


Hmm. lol Will keep that in mind. :)

[needkitkats]

I havent read through the entire postings (sorry) - but I'm a member of some of those cuckold sites (same name, generally) and small penis humiliation sites (now using as motivation, but only for a week, we'll let time speak for itself).

I have to say that most likely 90% of it is all in the guys head (including mine) it's based on a truth (Women like fucking big cocks, and many women are not monogamous) but this truth misses the larger truths about how a women feels like she had two sides (a motherly, caring side; and a bitch that just wants to be slapped around and given sexual pleasure) - and it exists in the SAME person. It's this confusion WITHIN the girl (women are ones whose lives control sexual behavior, a girl is somone who lets sex control them) that causes the split - IMO at least. Genetically, I think it's the traditional "genes vs. resources" debate - a guy who can fuck anything that moves and give it emense pleasure? or the a guy who can provide for the children once they are born? Why not both?

But this split bothers guys, and not exclusively guys with little dicks althought that is the huge majority. The idea of a cuckold in his midst is probably one of the least pleasant thougths for a guy - but it has been turned into a fetish by small group of guys, since it's a power emotion, poking at it with thoughts of real/faked cheating gets us off.

So, in a sense, dont worry about it. If you're not a "cad" you're a "dad" and you have to be the most genetically logical dad around (since women these days, maybe always, but today as well, think that it's okay to lie about whose child it is); check the child's DNA and be careful about marriage to a chick who always thinks that she can win because she's better. They're the ones that'll leave a VCD of her lover fucking her with his huge cock up her ass.

[bIgjOe]

I havent read through the entire postings (sorry) - but I'm a member of some of those cuckold sites (same name, generally) and small penis humiliation sites (now using as motivation, but only for a week, we'll let time speak for itself).

I have to say that most likely 90% of it is all in the guys head (including mine) it's based on a truth (Women like fucking big cocks, and many women are not monogamous) but this truth misses the larger truths about how a women feels like she had two sides (a motherly, caring side; and a bitch that just wants to be slapped around and given sexual pleasure) - and it exists in the SAME person. It's this confusion WITHIN the girl (women are ones whose lives control sexual behavior, a girl is somone who lets sex control them) that causes the split - IMO at least. Genetically, I think it's the traditional "genes vs. resources" debate - a guy who can fuck anything that moves and give it emense pleasure? or the a guy who can provide for the children once they are born? Why not both?

But this split bothers guys, and not exclusively guys with little dicks althought that is the huge majority. The idea of a cuckold in his midst is probably one of the least pleasant thougths for a guy - but it has been turned into a fetish by small group of guys, since it's a power emotion, poking at it with thoughts of real/faked cheating gets us off.

So, in a sense, dont worry about it. If you're not a "cad" you're a "dad" and you have to be the most genetically logical dad around (since women these days, maybe always, but today as well, think that it's okay to lie about whose child it is); check the child's DNA and be careful about marriage to a chick who always thinks that she can win because she's better. They're the ones that'll leave a VCD of her lover fucking her with his huge cock up her ass.
There is some truth about what you mentioned about the genes vs resources thing. A recent study showed a wife who had three kids, all from different fathers, none of whom were her husband. They also found that the highest occurance of this in women was when they are ovulating. Then they will find a guy based only on his perceived genes to have sex and get impregnated by, all while fully understanding that he would not make a good partner just a good source of sperm.
That said I would be quite interested in hearing your story if you wouldn't mind sharing. It sounds as though you've been through some serious shit that we could all learn from.

[needkitkats]

That said I would be quite interested in hearing your story if you wouldn't mind sharing. It sounds as though you've been through some serious shit that we could all learn from.


Oh. I dont mind. I just havent gone through TOO terrible a time; and the insecurities go back to my personality than it has to do with my actual size. My brain has been the one giving me "bad times" - not so often things out side of it.

However, that being said the worst was probably the event that got me started on SPH.

A girl (not girlfriend, never had that deep a relationship) I f-ed a few times, and had some real interest in, decided that it would be fun to fuck with my mind by making a vid of her and her fuck buddy, who was HUGE, literally the thickest thing I've ever seen on a human being outside of size related porn, and then left it in my DVD player to see. She was moanin and groinin and comin like it was nothin.

It sent me a bit off the handle. For a few days I barely slept and just wanked, watching the vid and looked for porn online. After about 96 hours my self-preservation mechanism finally kicks in and I destroy the VCD (no copies, nothing, it was TOO unhealhty, and glad of it too, because the darkest corners of SPH are REALLY unhealthy). I go on AIM to find her IM (hadnt spoken to her in days) and I look up the "Get Info" and it says "Bigger ones just feel better"; I declined to talk to her but that event made me start into SPH.

Now, do I ever expect to meet another asshole of a girl who wants to fuck with my mind more than anything? (she could have just told me that she wasnt interested, I never would have found SPH if that happened) Probably not. But at the time I didnt expect it from her either; she was going to grad school (not any more I guess), cute, from a decent family, nothing too torid from the info I gathered. Yet, she fucked me good, but not in a good way.

The only question I have had in my mind is "Why?" as in, WHY DO THIS? I dont know. I dont want to talk to her because apparently all she wanted to do was hurt me and use my insecurities against me. The best I can figure (and probably the easiest answer) is that she's just a bit crazy - but she didnt SEEM crazy. It's f-ed up.

Hope nothing ever like this happens to anyone here, or to anyone for that matter.

BTW - I'll occasionally write blurbs on SPH sites with a story LIKE this, or only parts of the story, or an embelished version of the story; I write those for my SPH fetish and are stories that have their origins in this one.

Man...That was more painful to write than I thought it would be.

[spinner2]

That's really fucked up. That girl sounds terrible. I seriously feel like I need to stay away from the internet, and girls who are whores, just so I don't think about shit like this. Just remember there are a lot of girls who aren't that superficial, try your best not to get hung up about the bad ones.

[kdogg101]

I actually had this same thing happen to me just recently. This was a girl that I thought was the one but she fucked with me big time. I'm so sick of these girls fucking games. One minute she says "I love you" then doesn't phone or msn me for months on end. Oh ya she hasn't gotten over her ex who was 8x6. So w/e to this getting a gf shit. Also sorry for hijacking this thread if I did.


Oh. I dont mind. I just havent gone through TOO terrible a time; and the insecurities go back to my personality than it has to do with my actual size. My brain has been the one giving me "bad times" - not so often things out side of it.

However, that being said the worst was probably the event that got me started on SPH.

A girl (not girlfriend, never had that deep a relationship) I f-ed a few times, and had some real interest in, decided that it would be fun to fuck with my mind by making a vid of her and her fuck buddy, who was HUGE, literally the thickest thing I've ever seen on a human being outside of size related porn, and then left it in my DVD player to see. She was moanin and groinin and comin like it was nothin.

It sent me a bit off the handle. For a few days I barely slept and just wanked, watching the vid and looked for porn online. After about 96 hours my self-preservation mechanism finally kicks in and I destroy the VCD (no copies, nothing, it was TOO unhealhty, and glad of it too, because the darkest corners of SPH are REALLY unhealthy). I go on AIM to find her IM (hadnt spoken to her in days) and I look up the "Get Info" and it says "Bigger ones just feel better"; I declined to talk to her but that event made me start into SPH.

Now, do I ever expect to meet another asshole of a girl who wants to fuck with my mind more than anything? (she could have just told me that she wasnt interested, I never would have found SPH if that happened) Probably not. But at the time I didnt expect it from her either; she was going to grad school (not any more I guess), cute, from a decent family, nothing too torid from the info I gathered. Yet, she fucked me good, but not in a good way.

The only question I have had in my mind is "Why?" as in, WHY DO THIS? I dont know. I dont want to talk to her because apparently all she wanted to do was hurt me and use my insecurities against me. The best I can figure (and probably the easiest answer) is that she's just a bit crazy - but she didnt SEEM crazy. It's f-ed up.

Hope nothing ever like this happens to anyone here, or to anyone for that matter.

BTW - I'll occasionally write blurbs on SPH sites with a story LIKE this, or only parts of the story, or an embelished version of the story; I write those for my SPH fetish and are stories that have their origins in this one.

Man...That was more painful to write than I thought it would be.

[needkitkats]

That's really fucked up. That girl sounds terrible. I seriously feel like I need to stay away from the internet, and girls who are whores, just so I don't think about shit like this. Just remember there are a lot of girls who aren't that superficial, try your best not to get hung up about the bad ones.

Yeah, well the hardest part was that she really didnt give any hints at being nutty, and I'm generally try to be an easy going (read:lazy) guy. The thing hit me out of the blue. That's what shocked my system. After a few years of getting in and out of SPH (it's never something you totally forget IMO) I realized the thing about my brain being the bigger pain-maker, but it only starts to put things into perspective, it doesnt quite bring it all the way out the "healthy".




"I actually had this same thing happen to me just recently. This was a girl that I thought was the one but she fucked with me big time."

Just to clarify - you mean, she left you video/photos or something? Or that she had a fuckbuddy with a big cock?

Either way - it's shitty that this happens in the world. It's just that when you ARE small to begin with it's easier to get trapped into the debilitating fear and anxiety.

Anyhow, if you arent into it, I wouldnt recommend SPH; it's never REALLY warped my mind, but it's come close, the emotions and the areas of the brain you're messing with are very powerful.

BTW - dont worry about "hijacking" any thread. So far, as far I can tell, you're just posting.

[kdogg101]

I was meaning pictures. Also what is SPH? I haven't heard of it


Yeah, well the hardest part was that she really didnt give any hints at being nutty, and I'm generally try to be an easy going (read:lazy) guy. The thing hit me out of the blue. That's what shocked my system. After a few years of getting in and out of SPH (it's never something you totally forget IMO) I realized the thing about my brain being the bigger pain-maker, but it only starts to put things into perspective, it doesnt quite bring it all the way out the "healthy".




Just to clarify - you mean, she left you video/photos or something? Or that she had a fuckbuddy with a big cock?

Either way - it's shitty that this happens in the world. It's just that when you ARE small to begin with it's easier to get trapped into the debilitating fear and anxiety.

Anyhow, if you arent into it, I wouldnt recommend SPH; it's never REALLY warped my mind, but it's come close, the emotions and the areas of the brain you're messing with are very powerful.

BTW - dont worry about "hijacking" any thread. So far, as far I can tell, you're just posting.

[needkitkats]

SPH is Small Penis Humiliation.

Pictures? It's really terrible aint it? When you have it in your face like that? At least when she only tells you then you can "imagine" a better solution in your head to "what happened" - but when the evidence is in your face like that, it's really something else. It's like taking on a brick wall with full force, at least it was for me, for a short while.

Not saying that the lingering effects arent really fucked up or anything.

Like I said again, I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND THIS as a thing to get into. It CAN become a real difficulty in your life - I try for it not to be, but somethings you just cant quite control, since pretty much everything that happens happens in your mind and no one can see what's "actually going on inside" and in all other aspects I lead a modest, comfortable life; so no one really suspects all that much. And the vast majority of the time I'm "fine" - while working, while socializing, etc I'm pretty normal, rational and even happy. But it comes in flashes occasionally (I imagine something or a portion of the vid pops up in my mind, triggered by something/anything) and in occasional weekends that kind of go missing to SPH. Like I said, can get a bit unhealthy. Also something that you cant quite forget (probably, not sure, will tell you in a few decades).

[needkitkats]

It's not a matter of STDs or health. Some people sleep with one person and get an STD, while some sleep with hundreds and never do. That can be checked and confirmed by a physician rather easily.

It is about the likelihood of a person cheating or giving up on the relationship in difficult times. As I mentioned earlier, a large number of sex partners means a person either thinks very little about engaging in casual one-nighters or has been through an exceptional amount of relationships. Either way, it is some concern for the well-being of your relationship. And while this might sound sexist, it is a much bigger red flag when a female is concerned. That is because men are biologically wired for casual sex, while women are more wired towards the love and relationship aspects. I mean, there is a reason where there are numerous books written for men about how to attract and seduce women, while there is basically not a real market for teaching women how to pick up men. So, if you think about the expression "been around the block" there may be a little cause for concern. And if a woman has been around the neighbor and a few adjoining municipalities that is a major red flag.

Emphasis partially mine: I want to repost this because I think it's essentially correct. Women who sleep around arent known as "ho's" because it's a good thing; and the fact that women who sleep around have been disliked in most human societies lets you know that while there were always women who liked sleeping around, society was never too appreciative of these women. You must wonder why this pattern keeps on emerging? I would speculate that it has something to do with our evolutionary past, and goes back to the resources question.

However, I do think one important differnce between our evolutionary past and the (still evolutionary) present, is that women in the first world have been afforded many more political, social and (importantly) economic rights.

While these have been a boon for countries that practice relative moderation in their moral and civic affairs (who hears of Swedish people obessing over weight as much as Americans? And who's fatter? Isnt that odd?) the powers American style "bigger is better" mentality AND the VERY American notion of "going it alone" "WIN at all costs" "the pursuit of Happiness" etc combined with the literally astounding power the "media" (think about that word for a minute, are we like bacteria growing in it?) forcing people into beleiving that if only they bought something, made this, were skinnier, had firmer skin, a "bigger" boyfriend, etc has caused, in a sense, a Hyper-Sexualization in a fair number of women, people become critical of every aspect of their lives, constantly asking "Am I happy?" "Am I happy?" without realizing the reason they have to keep on taking anti-depressants is because they keep on asking that stupid question (if you're unhappy, you mind will tell you, trust your brain and keep it occupied with something, dumbass, IMHO).

I think more women now have a "base-line" of sexual expectations and fullfillment expectations that are MUCH higher than those a even a couple of generations ago. Women may always have prefered large penises, but now I think they have the political and social freedom to state their preference openly. Many may feel that they "deserve" to orgasm; and with their economic independence, they're isnt much of an insentive to settle down with a husband unless he's really raking in the money.

Now - you may say "But Needkitkats I dont know these women, the women I know are kind, gentle and not that sexual".

Two things - these are a narrow band of women, but their numbers are growing, it's the "MILF" wife, the hot lady in her 30s who still runs and looks great but is single so she can fuck who she wants, the lady that takes Yoga. These women arent ALWAYS cheaters, but many of them are, or remain single and free, and it's usually not "emotional reasons" that they cheat. So, in a sense, it's a small subset of the population that was never there before, and exists only because of the social and economic environment.

Second thing - not all women are always like this, and not all women will want this; it's that simple. Not all women are retarded like this, there are good ones out there, but it's a rare find, and the fact that you cant really be sure...that's something I guess.

ON the other hand, maybe we should accept cheating/promiscuos as a social reality and kind of codify acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Some countries have moved in that direction in law, and in practice brothels have been around forever - as have prostitutes (although looked down upon).

So, it's hard to say exactly, there's a case to be made on each side, but I still think that what I'm seeing (in terms of this "new" women) is absolutely real and is hard to deny.

[needkitkats]

It should be noted that the subset includes a whole lot of people, essentially any girl/woman that could get a job to support herself (or has a job to support herself) that believe that they want a larger cock to fuck. Or a girl whose willing to cheat on a steady boyfriend (resources) and still get the fuck (genetics).

Also; I think the era of Mutally Destructive Pressure has arrived. We expect too much from imperfect bodies and minds. We need to settle for a lot less than what we "expect". Just a thought.

BTW - in a sense I think that PE is like Breast Enhancement or teeth whitening, you're just altering the look, but not the underlying genetic structure; it'll be an interesting area to study once it becomes big.

[Breidablik]

What is it that is so tormenting about your (i'm refering to everyone) girl fucking another guy? Hey, I will not cut my balls off because i'm in a relationship with a girl i love, and i dont expect her to put her chains on because she's with me! I'm not talking about manipulation and treason here; those are far to be honorable behaviors. I'm talking about respect (keeping a lion in a cage is not respectfull),
about acceptance towards the fact that you just cant threat your lover like a prisonner... assuming that she's/he's the lion kind.

This is skin, this is sex, instincts... this is WILD. Sex is the wildest human action, maybe even the only that is truly wild, and that's what, to me, makes the "beauty" of sex. If your getting a "faithfull" girl, good for you; if your getting a wild girl, good for you: in both cases, you are a winner. Let your vanity and prejudices on the side... cause these are the only voices that make you/us act like this. "What? You are upset that your girl has sleep with another one, ready to dump her and suffer from her "cheating" (read: a purely natural and instinctive thing) because of your vanity? And you would accept the fact that she suddently "stop" loving you and move on! Are you saying that you care more about her skin than her love?!"

Sorry for the bad english and the lack of details/explanations. That's all i can do with english.

[bIgjOe]

What is it that is so tormenting about your (i'm refering to everyone) girl fucking another guy? Hey, I will not cut my balls off because i'm in a relationship with a girl i love, and i dont expect her to put her chains on because she's with me! I'm not talking about manipulation and treason here; those are far to be honorable behaviors. I'm talking about respect (keeping a lion in a cage is not respectfull),
about acceptance towards the fact that you just cant threat your lover like a prisonner... assuming that she's/he's the lion kind.

This is skin, this is sex, instincts... this is WILD. Sex is the wildest human action, maybe even the only that is truly wild, and that's what, to me, makes the "beauty" of sex. If your getting a "faithfull" girl, good for you; if your getting a wild girl, good for you: in both cases, you are a winner. Let your vanity and prejudices on the side... cause these are the only voices that make you/us act like this. "What? You are upset that your girl has sleep with another one, ready to dump her and suffer from her "cheating" (read: a purely natural and instinctive thing) because of your vanity? And you would accept the fact that she suddently "stop" loving you and move on! Are you saying that you care more about her skin than her love?!"

Sorry for the bad english and the lack of details/explanations. That's all i can do with english.
It is true that instinct drives a great deal of human relationships and interactive behaviors with the opposite sex. In fact it is this very thing that I believe makes guys not want their girl fucking around. The "Alpha Male" mentality or what have you.

Besides all that though, here are some other reasons why a guy wouldn't want his girl sleeping around on him. Anybody can add to this list if they want, and I believe these are pretty reasonable, logical things to believe in.

1. Diseases - Perhaps one of the most obvious. Of course you have to accept your girl has probably been with guys before you, but even then you can go get tested together or something to that affect. If she is sleeping around she probably doesn't want to raise extra suspicion by risking a trip to the local clinic for a little scrape test. So in short I would rather not have to guess where these spots on my dick, or my tongue are coming from.

2. Mental Health - It has not been proven whether or not human beings are "instinctively" monogamous. Once you really settle down with someone, it is supposed to be because you have found someone you are supposed to be happy with, if you are not happy with this person then break up with them, and then go sleep around. At least it would show some courtesy instead of making them into a cuckold.

3. Mental Healthx2 - If you are in a relationship with a girl, and you two are having sex, as most women would expect that if you have sexual urges that is what they are there for. If you have a girl who is cheating on you, now you have to wonder what she is looking for elsewhere that you aren't giving her. Whether it be a bigger penis, better look, better oral skills what have you. You now are left with whatever feeling of inadequacy you believe (or are told) caused her to cheat on you.

4. Respect amongst peers - Whatever the reasons she is cheating on you for, once word gets out (and it will, maybe even before you hear about it because that is the nature of the beast) others who know you are going to question why. Now given the society we are in the man is blamed if he is cheating outright, but if a girl is cheating it must be because of something the man is not giving her. Thus his social standing amongst his peers, and as a potential mate for other females who know about it, is significantly lowered.

If I missed any, anyone can feel free to add to it.

[spinner2]

People like this make me want to crawl into a shell and stay alone. The only way I've found to deal with it is just to drink a lot and listen to the sex pistols all the time and watch skateboard videos, then I'm too numb to care about anything. I'll probably keep it this way till I'm 9x7, at which point I'll become disgusted by the girls obsessing over my dick and not me. The process will start over, inevitably leading to a sex change operation.

Fuck it.

[spinner2]

4. Respect amongst peers - Whatever the reasons she is cheating on you for, once word gets out (and it will, maybe even before you hear about it because that is the nature of the beast) others who know you are going to question why. Now given the society we are in the man is blamed if he is cheating outright, but if a girl is cheating it must be because of something the man is not giving her. Thus his social standing amongst his peers, and as a potential mate for other females who know about it, is significantly lowered.
This is completely different from what I have experienced. When a girl cheats on a decent guy, everyone just thinks the girl is a total slut. The only way I have ever seen the guy lose respect is if he continues dating the girl who is cheating on him, which shows a lack of self-respect from him. I had a girl cheat on me about a year ago, and I just dumped her and got a new girlfriend a few hours later who was even hotter. Everyone just thought I was awesome for pulling that off so fast.

[needkitkats]

People like this make me want to crawl into a shell and stay alone. The only way I've found to deal with it is just to drink a lot and listen to the sex pistols all the time and watch skateboard videos, then I'm too numb to care about anything. I'll probably keep it this way till I'm 9x7, at which point I'll become disgusted by the girls obsessing over my dick and not me. The process will start over, inevitably leading to a sex change operation.

Fuck it.


Yeah! Non-conformists Rule!

[bIgjOe]

This is completely different from what I have experienced. When a girl cheats on a decent guy, everyone just thinks the girl is a total slut. The only way I have ever seen the guy lose respect is if he continues dating the girl who is cheating on him, which shows a lack of self-respect from him. I had a girl cheat on me about a year ago, and I just dumped her and got a new girlfriend a few hours later who was even hotter. Everyone just thought I was awesome for pulling that off so fast.
Wow congratulations on that. Maybe its just the areas we live in, but are you sure it wasn't just because you made such a quick turn around on her? Or have you seen this happen alot?

[spinner2]

Wow congratulations on that. Maybe its just the areas we live in, but are you sure it wasn't just because you made such a quick turn around on her? Or have you seen this happen alot?
I've only seen one guy who has lost respect, and it's because his girlfriend is a complete slut and he refuses to acknowledge the obvious fact. The funny thing is I'm pretty sure he's got a bigger dick than anyone else I know.

[Breidablik]

It is true that instinct drives a great deal of human relationships and interactive behaviors with the opposite sex. In fact it is this very thing that I believe makes guys not want their girl fucking around. The "Alpha Male" mentality or what have you.

Besides all that though, here are some other reasons why a guy wouldn't want his girl sleeping around on him. Anybody can add to this list if they want, and I believe these are pretty reasonable, logical things to believe in.

1. Diseases - Perhaps one of the most obvious. Of course you have to accept your girl has probably been with guys before you, but even then you can go get tested together or something to that affect. If she is sleeping around she probably doesn't want to raise extra suspicion by risking a trip to the local clinic for a little scrape test. So in short I would rather not have to guess where these spots on my dick, or my tongue are coming from.



2. Mental Health - It has not been proven whether or not human beings are "instinctively" monogamous. Once you really settle down with someone, it is supposed to be because you have found someone you are supposed to be happy with, if you are not happy with this person then break up with them, and then go sleep around. At least it would show some courtesy instead of making them into a cuckold.

3. Mental Healthx2 - If you are in a relationship with a girl, and you two are having sex, as most women would expect that if you have sexual urges that is what they are there for. If you have a girl who is cheating on you, now you have to wonder what she is looking for elsewhere that you aren't giving her. Whether it be a bigger penis, better look, better oral skills what have you. You now are left with whatever feeling of inadequacy you believe (or are told) caused her to cheat on you.

4. Respect amongst peers - Whatever the reasons she is cheating on you for, once word gets out (and it will, maybe even before you hear about it because that is the nature of the beast) others who know you are going to question why. Now given the society we are in the man is blamed if he is cheating outright, but if a girl is cheating it must be because of something the man is not giving her. Thus his social standing amongst his peers, and as a potential mate for other females who know about it, is significantly lowered.

If I missed any, anyone can feel free to add to it.

I'm not talking about "cheating", for whatever reasons you've state above. I'm talking about "freedom". Keep the word cheating out of your mind, that's not what i'm talking about.

Here's an example: I like to fuck a girls throat until she pukes everywhere, and my girl likes to sodomize guys with some dildo. But if i dont want that thing in my ass, and if she doesnt want me to fuck her throat like a madman, isnt it just "normal" to let the other realise his/her fantasy on his/her side? Share them and be really aroused about it?

[millionman]

Ummm....I don't necessarily think fantasies are bad, but when you attempt to make fantasy a reality there is an inherent danger. If you think that "freedom" is being able to do whatever your heart desires then by all means live that way, but as soon as you put your self in a situation where you are committed to someone else then that "freedom" you speak of no longer exists. I say it doesn't exist, but in actuality that "freedom" changes. You can't just do whatever your heart desires because you now have to think about another person's feelings. This goes far beyond sex, it becomes an issue when you want to go out for a beer with the guys, if and when you can go to a football game, or even if you can workout or PE when you feel the urge to.

I understand the whole concept of be free and feel free to enjoy yourself and explore fantasy land, but you never know what could happen to a relationship once that box has been opened. If you love someone let them go, and if you want to fulfill fantasies with other people then go right ahead, but you can't say you love someone and confine them to a role of being on the sideline while you are out fulfilling your fantasy life. Love is about inclusion and experiencing the world along side someone else, and if this excludes any aspect of yourself then you haven't given fully to them what they have given to you. This is not right, nor is it fair to this person who you claim to love and who loves you. If you are married it is stated in the vows, "forsaking all others" as well as "giving all of oneself". These two statements are nonexclusive as far as life long committment goes.

Personally speaking I want to experience as much as I can with my wife and only her. If there's something that she wants to do that I can't share in then it won't be done, and vise versa. Love is about respect, trust, and loyalty. If you go looking for other things because of a whim can you say that you respect the woman you "love" or that you are loyal to her, and can she trust you. I can't answer these questions for anyone else, but I know that within myself I will do everything in my power for the woman I love and that includes controlling my urges and my actions.

[bIgjOe]

I'm not talking about "cheating", for whatever reasons you've state above. I'm talking about "freedom". Keep the word cheating out of your mind, that's not what i'm talking about.

Here's an example: I like to fuck a girls throat until she pukes everywhere, and my girl likes to sodomize guys with some dildo. But if i dont want that thing in my ass, and if she doesnt want me to fuck her throat like a madman, isnt it just "normal" to let the other realise his/her fantasy on his/her side? Share them and be really aroused about it?
Oh ok I guess I misunderstood you, but I suppose the reasons I listed (a few of them) would also be reasons why alot of couples wouldn't want to swing. Yeah its normal to have fantasies, but statistically it probably isn't "normal" to act on them.
Do the reasons you mean concern only things outside of normal heterosexual intercourse?
I'm not saying I disagree with swinging, although I don't think its really my thing, but I would imagine there are more couples that don't than those that do. Which I suppose would make it "normal" not to.
Although maybe if you have sexual urges your partner can't fulfill, perhaps you two aren't sexually compatible? Another argument against waiting until marriage I suppose.

[Breidablik]

Ummm....I don't necessarily think fantasies are bad, but when you attempt to make fantasy a reality there is an inherent danger. If you think that "freedom" is being able to do whatever your heart desires then by all means live that way, but as soon as you put your self in a situation where you are committed to someone else then that "freedom" you speak of no longer exists. I say it doesn't exist, but in actuality that "freedom" changes. You can't just do whatever your heart desires because you now have to think about another person's feelings. This goes far beyond sex, it becomes an issue when you want to go out for a beer with the guys, if and when you can go to a football game, or even if you can workout or PE when you feel the urge to.

I understand the whole concept of be free and feel free to enjoy yourself and explore fantasy land, but you never know what could happen to a relationship once that box has been opened. If you love someone let them go, and if you want to fulfill fantasies with other people then go right ahead, but you can't say you love someone and confine them to a role of being on the sideline while you are out fulfilling your fantasy life. Love is about inclusion and experiencing the world along side someone else, and if this excludes any aspect of yourself then you haven't given fully to them what they have given to you. This is not right, nor is it fair to this person who you claim to love and who loves you. If you are married it is stated in the vows, "forsaking all others" as well as "giving all of oneself". These two statements are nonexclusive as far as life long committment goes.

Personally speaking I want to experience as much as I can with my wife and only her. If there's something that she wants to do that I can't share in then it won't be done, and vise versa. Love is about respect, trust, and loyalty. If you go looking for other things because of a whim can you say that you respect the woman you "love" or that you are loyal to her, and can she trust you. I can't answer these questions for anyone else, but I know that within myself I will do everything in my power for the woman I love and that includes controlling my urges and my actions.

You still in the cheating, treason thing. Of course i wouldnt do such a thing to my lover. It is not honorable to act this way. No love, no respect, no care in this attitude.

[Breidablik]

Oh... and the "fantasy" thing was just an example; i tried to speak with images, since my english is so bad. I just cant explain it. You should be able to see all the "connected" things with such an image.