MUST READ: I got shot down part II

[penguinsfan]

Some people get what they deserve. :rocker: Yeah, I'm a little vindictive. So what?

Remember the Trish girl I work with? Refer to the original "I got shot down". Anyhow, Trish and I were friends and, due to a number of things, I began to want a little more than friendship. Before we were really much in the way of friends, I thought of her in the same way I would think of many chicks. Then I began to really feel liked I cared for her. :love:

Trish shot me down for a couple of different reasons, but the biggest was that she said she needed some time to get over her last relationship. OK, but she ended up dating someone else within days after our talk. :flame: I have to be honest and say that her lack of forthcoming left a sour taste in my mind. What pissed me off even more was all her talk about how much she cared and how our relationship would not be affected by any of this--we'd still be friends. Afterwards, she became blatantly distant and withdrawn.

Well, all is well that ends well. :clap: Last Monday, Trish came into the room I work in to speak with our mutual friend, Ted. She started whispering and I knew something was up because I heard her say to Ted that she was ending it with this Matt guy. Naturally, I acted as though I was paying no attention whatsoever, while trying to hear every word of it and she did a poor job of keeping quiet enough around me.

I'll not bore you with a recount of everything in the conversation, but I pieced together that Matt had come clean with the fact that he had relationships with men in the past and that he still has a fetish for fucking himself with dildos and like objects. Trish told Ted that she was grossed out by this and could not handle the idea of dating Matt. She also expressed concern that some of Matt's practices may have exposed her to higher risks of STDs.

Boy, Trish, you sure know how to pick 'em. So, she has to constantly fight with her ex-husband and another ex-boyfriend over child custody/support matters. She then had a chance to go out with a nice guy (me) that really appreciated her good qualities, but she passed it up to go out with a pretty face--and sexual behavior too deviant for her to deal with. :barf:

Is that a pity party I see? No, I'm sorry, it appears to be penguinsfan laughing his ass off. :bouncings

[MCTFB]

I try and be objective about who I become attracted to these days because dating the wrong person will often end you up with a disease or a lot of hell in your life you just don't need.

This Trish gal sounds sort of like one of my ex-GF's who I am still friends/acquaintances with only because I adore her little daughter (biological dad is out of the picture). If not for her child, I would not even bother talking to the lady for a lot of reasons including not being a very interesting person as a human being as well as her putting my heart through the meat grinder many times in the past with cheating, lying, bullshit excuses for dumping me and then going out with someone who treats her like shit and dumps her and then having the nerve to come back to me, etc.

Anyways, for whatever dumb reason I loved her. Maybe because she had a perfect rack, or maybe I just had low self-esteem when it came to women at the time. Nevertheless, if I looked at my ex-GF in an objective light at how she has treated other men and what the state of her life is right now, then I probably would have saved myself a whole world of hurt.

In your case, lets look at Trish:

(1) Single mom with kids from two different dads (my ex-GF is now in this situation though she only had one kid when she dated me). This is not horrible per se, but you have to question how the woman got herself into this situation twice and why the dads are not around anymore. If you knocked her up, would she just use you for child support while not letting you see your own kids that often (such as moving out of state with some new guy she met off the internet to make visitation very difficult).

(2) She dates some very shady men. Like they say, birds of a feather flock together. There are better women out there, just you need to be patient in meeting them. My biggest mistake in the past has to not have been selective in who I choose to have a relationship with and out of a fear of myself being shallow I choose to overlook major personality flaws in the opposite sex. I try not to do that anymore, but it sounds like you are giving your friend "Trish" too much respect.

(3) She lies to your face about why she won't date you. Rather than saying she just is not attracted to you so you can move on to the next woman, she strings you along like you are some kind of backup guy in case things don't work out with the next guy she dates. Yah guys do this all the time as well (keeping a backup fuck around even when you claim to be "exclusive" with someone), but lying is still lying and she just is not worth your time as a friend or otherwise. The best thing a woman can do to shoot a guy down is to politely and honestly tell the truth that she is not attracted to you without giving out all the shallow details about what might turn you off. The simple honest biological answer should always be "the chemistry just is not right". That way the guy can deal with the rejection and move on with his balls still intact.


Anyways, most people who have a lot of problems in their life usually bring them upon themselves and keep having more problems because they fail to take responsibility for any of their problems in the first place and expect other people such as their significant others or parents to fix everything for them. Sounds like Trish is one of these people and you are just excusing her past behaviour and current behaviour because she has a nice set of tits and a nice tight ass you are hoping to tap someday. Hey, I have been guilty of this myself so you can learn the easy way by listening to other people that have gone through this crap several times before or the hard way like most people such as myself where you can be somewhat jaded by women because you let them take advantage of you emotionally (which you should never let them do).

Well, since she lied to you, I feel that gives you license to fuck with her back for fun's sake, but since she is a co-worker, I guess that might not be a good idea. I would stop being her friend if I were you and if she ever does want to go out on a date with you, just make sure you stand her up in the most creative way possible (-:

[TimBo755]

Well, I always seem to stick to this saying; "What comes around goes around"

Seems like it worked in this case :)

[Texan]

Man, it's sad to say, but it's nice when things work out this way. All too often we guys get dumped on and are led to believe everything is just peachy for the girl while we sit heartbroken. This is sweet for you penguinsfan. You'd think after two kids with two dif guys she would have matured a little by now, but I guess not. Sad for her, because she will likely have a very hard time finding true happiness.