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View Full Version : Dysfunctional Relationship and other things



BigManPE
10-25-09, 08:46 PM
I thought it might be good to come here and post this and get some opinions from the Females and males as well too if you guys want to but.

To start, I have been involved with a person (long distant relationship) for about 1 year and a couple months. She is very dominant and bossy as hell. and the worst thing about it is she has way too much pride to ever admit when she's wrong and own up to shit. I've tried and tired giving her my all. I've shown her much loyalty all the way for real and It's like she was my everything and my all and like my whole heart to be honest. I don't feel appreciated, I'm called a liar, it's very dysfunctional and I don't even know where we're at right now, we've been trying to get on a friend level but she went off on me about shit I've done and chews me out because of it and the thing is..I owned up to my fuck ups. but she never admits to the wrong she has done. I NEVER get a compromise and she recently said some fucked up shit to me dealing with her ex's or ex fuck buddies or whatever saying that her sleeping with these dog nasty bastards who are scum isn't as bad as me talking to a few girls just conversing after the fact she kept breaking up with me. And i was just like wow wtf.

Well I went to a party last night and there was a girl there that I knew a long time ago and to be quite honest I don't want a relationship with her, but I feel like I might have lead her on and I don't want to be an asshole. She was touching me and I touched on her too. And i feel I've made such a mistake by doing that. She messaged me on a certain website (not this one of course) and wants me to call her. Even though I'm not in a relationship with the girl i've been dealing with I still feel like I've hurt her. At the same time I try to be colder to the situation and be like "well she NEVER told me about the guys she was messaging and flirting with that I had to look in her messages to find out, and the couple of times she was on the fuckin phone with my enemy after I told her I had problems with this guy, why feel bad?" Thing is I actually touched a girl and although I'm not sure what she may have done behind my back, I'd feel like real shit if she never touched a guy when we were going out then for me to touch on a girl. But i'm trying not to feel shitty by trying to realize.. me and her aren't in a relationship but I feel like she still has love for me and still kind of loves me and I feel the same.

What should I do??? I feel stressed out about this and I feel real wrong. One for having feelings for a girl and I go and do this. Like I said even though we're not in a relationship I know she would sooo throw this up in my face and never let this down especially if I told her now or sometime soon, maybe this is a thing where if Her and I work out I'd tell her this shit years down the road. Also number two is for leading on another girl. She's nice and seems to be a sweet person but oh man, I don't want to get involved and I KNOW I interested her, and wanting to do something. I'm trying to feel cold like the girl I have feelings for like she has displayed to me, and I've told her she has crushed me and fucked with my heart so bad. I told her about all the nights I've cried about things that she has hurt me with and she still shows nothing. About an hour or more ago she said I wasn't a man and I was the bitch and biggest pussy in the world and basically told me I idolized this guy I have a problem with that she spread for a couple of years ago that he even threw in my face about them having sex. Do you know how that can make a person feel? and then for this guy to do songs and put it out there for people to hear? And she throws someone like that in my face? Damn. Just based off that fact and realizing just now what I wrote, I have every right to be cold to this situation. But dammit, I feel like I'm too damn sweet and caring and that I easily feel wrong still for things and still don't want to be cold to her and break it with her forever. I just don't know. What's everyones opinion?

GrowthSpurts
10-25-09, 11:55 PM
Hey Big, I thought I would chime in here with my 2 cents. From what I've read here I would suggest you keep your long distance relationship with this abnormally negative woman as a long distance relationship - and I mean make it a REALLY long distance relationship. In other words get as far away from this woman as you can!

Here's my reasoning for saying that. She has NO RIGHT to rag on you. Anyone that is consistently putting you down and making you feel bad about yourself HAS NO PLACE in your life. A partner is supposed to support you and make you feel good about yourself. It's all about positive energy and yes the purest expression of that is called LOVE.

You are a sensitive, caring person and you deserve better than this woman. I get a sense that what you feel for this woman is infatuation, not love. Get over this and take some time to reflect on how she makes you feel and I think you'll agree that she is a negative influence on your life.

Then surround yourself with positive people and you will see that you feel better about yourself too.

BigManPE
10-26-09, 04:28 PM
Thanks for the feedback Growthspurts Thanks man, that's what I needed to hear/read. I think i was holding on just out of hope. It's kind of weird , everyone says the same thing about it is most likely infatuation instead of love. and to be totally honest, that's how it started...then eventually developed feelings but it all started as a sexual thought, so maybe that wasn't too good. If anyone wants to chime in, feel free. I probably need as much input as possible.

Threak-X
10-26-09, 08:55 PM
BigManPE--I have to agree with GrowthSpurts, "Love is not Disrespectful." The people in your life should enhance your happiness and if they are not willing to do that, then it's time to let them go. Now grow a pair because you have the "unalienable rights" for Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

BigManPE
10-27-09, 04:54 AM
BigManPE--I have to agree with GrowthSpurts, "Love is not Disrespectful." The people in your life should enhance your happiness and if they are not willing to do that, then it's time to let them go. Now grow a pair because you have the "unalienable rights" for Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

You are so right. Thank you both for responding. I now honestly feel the feeling of not owing her a damn thing for the way she has made me feel through the whole 1 year and some odd months especially with no compromise on her side. Shit man, I'm gonna just worry about me and do whatever I want JUST like you guys said to do. Time to live life once again and mingle with the many of ladies out there in the world! Thanks Threak X and thank you Growthspurts!