I've been doing some research into learning how to control ejaculation. I usually can last a little while, but I want to be able to completely master when I cum--not just last a little longer. I bought what is supposed to be the best resource on the matter--Kaplan's "Overcoming PE"--but I've found it a bit vague. Basically, the author tells your to masturbate/have intercourse and note your arousal on a one-ten scale, ten being ejaculation, and trying to maintain a 7-8 level by getting close to the PONR and stopping and restarting.... eventually just slowing down rather than stopping.
I am not a huge fan of the author's book for two reasons: I don't want to change my pace--my girlfriend hates when I do this unless we're changing positions--and the book doesn't say anything about the PC muscle besides "don't hold back"
I have done some reading online and through ebooks and found two other schools of thought: either kegel the PC at the PONR so hard you don't ejaculate but do orgasm ("multi-orgasmic") or keep the PC muscles relaxed or even "reverse kegel (seen here at MOS")
What I'm looking for is some clarification on these two methods, and what you guys suggest. Also, is edging getting to the PONR and clenching or reverse kegeling? and furthermore, how do you reverse kegel, and when would you to avoid ejaculation?
and Ultimately, for those of you with complete control over when you cum--what do you do to a. keep yourself at a plateau and b. cum when you want to cum (ie.. start clenching or start reversing or what?)
I've done the counting/biting/creams/cum first/other distraction or "de-sensitizing" tricks. I'm not interested in those any more. I want to enjoy sex with my girlfriend fully for as long as I want...I don't want to be thinking about baseball or jerking it before going out any more.
Thanks for your help!