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  1. #1
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    My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    When she first told me I was happily shocked. She brought this up about a month and a half ago.

    As a guy, now you would think, well shit yeah Im having a threesome tomorrow. My girl wants to do it, I definitely want to do it, should be easy.

    Well to my surprise it is not as easy as it would seem. We both dont know how to go about finding the third party. We would like her to not be professional, but are considering it.

    We tried adultfriendfinder, but so far nothing. Either we dont want them or on a rare occasion we find a girl that might work it just doesnt. Neither of us want to just bring it up to a girl that we know, fearing that it would be a very negative situation if she said no. We dont frequent clubs and arent excited about the thought of it.

    Both of us are very attractive and fit so again it would seem easy but...

    Im hoping that somebody here will have some good advice.

    I feel like a horse chasing that damn carrot in front of me right now. lol
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  2. #2
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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    sweeeet

  3. #3

    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    I would never engage in a threesome for a variety of reasons, one of them being that sex is merely a natural drug and all pleasure drugs follow the law of diminishing returns (i.e. the higher the high, the higher the bencHydromaxark for pleasure the next time around), and well having a threesome would be like going from caffeine to crack cocaine as far as stimulants go. My libido has already been jaded by a lifetime of porn which I hope to eliminate from my life someday (probably right after I get done with Penis Enlargement), but if you are really that curious try:

    http://www.stepbystepthreesome.com

    Pure hedonism in life is a short track to intellectual and spiritual emptiness as decadence really has no limits in life, so if that is what you want with your gal then more power to yah.

    Nevertheless, since your girl brought it up, if you don't go through with it, she will go through with it behind your back or just dump you and find another guy who can make it happen, so I guess you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

  4. #4

    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Nice post MCTFB. Also having a threesome is cheating, it's just that both people in the relationship are willingly cheating on each other out in the open.

  5. #5
    9cyclops9 Guest

    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Fantastic post. I tried to add to your rep but it said:

    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to MCTFB again.

    So I guess that means you've been the man in my book lately. :D

  6. #6
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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Most of what I've heard is that the act is never as good as the fantasy... personally, I say try it if you are absolutely sure she can deal (your girl).
    Tex

  7. #7
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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Don't fool yourselves... 3-somes are awesome. But swinging, group sex, the lifestyle, or what ever you want to call it isn't for everyone. You have to make sure that your relationship with your spouse or significant other is solid and that neither of you have any jealosy issues before seriously considering it or it will hurt your relationship. You also need to be able to separate love from sex/lust as they are not the same. You must keep in mind that neither of you are looking to replace your partner but to simply enjoy the pleasures of sex (nothing more, nothing less). We view sex with other people as just another extension of our sexplay similar to using dildos for added pleasure (a man is just another dildo for her and a woman is a FleshLight for me). My wife and i discussed it for a year before actually jumping into it and we've never been happier.

    Quote Originally Posted by MCTFB
    I would never engage in a threesome for a variety of reasons, one of them being that sex is merely a natural drug and all pleasure drugs follow the law of diminishing returns (i.e. the higher the high, the higher the bencHydromaxark for pleasure the next time around), and well having a threesome would be like going from caffeine to crack cocaine as far as stimulants go.
    That may be true for some but for most people in the lifestyle, it just isn't true. The couples that you meet in the lifestyle are next door types and just good all around people. I'm sure that there are poeple that are in it for the "high" as you put it but we've yet to meet one.

    Quote Originally Posted by MCTFB
    Pure hedonism in life is a short track to intellectual and spiritual emptiness as decadence really has no limits in life, so if that is what you want with your gal then more power to yah.
    You're completely missing the point... maybe you should just enjoy sex for the simple pleasure that it is and quit intellectualizing it... you'll prolly enjoy it more.

    Quote Originally Posted by MCTFB
    Nevertheless, since your girl brought it up, if you don't go through with it, she will go through with it behind your back or just dump you and find another guy who can make it happen, so I guess you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.
    Again, i disagree... his girl brought it up cuz she feel that she can openly talk to him about her fantasies without being afraid of him getting jealous or freaking out. That is a good start. Couples should endeavor to encourage open discussion about their likes, dislikes, and fantasies without fear of resentment. She has made a good first step and whether they ever decide to go thru with a 3-some or not, it doesn't matter because if nothing else, they're learning that they can openly talk about a touchy subject matter without worry or remorse of how the other will react. That is the beginning of a healthy relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stuff_
    Nice post MCTFB. Also having a threesome is cheating, it's just that both people in the relationship are willingly cheating on each other out in the open.
    By definition, cheating means to get something by dishonesty. If both are willing participants how are they cheating??

    Quote Originally Posted by Texan
    Most of what I've heard is that the act is never as good as the fantasy... personally, I say try it if you are absolutely sure she can deal (your girl).
    Nothing is ever as good as the fantasy, but that's not to say it's not good. What it is is different and variety is the spice of life... You are definitely right about being absolutely sure on whether you can deal with it or not before jumping in. You have to be able to get past any insecurities you may have... this is especially true if you plan on swapping with another couple or doing a 3-some with another guy. But since they are only considering a girl, most of the insecurities falls on his girl and if she's cool with it why shouldn't he be.


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  8. #8

    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Hey man, the worst case scenario is that even if the threesome sucks, you can still brag to your buds that you acctually had sex with two girls at the same time.

  9. #9
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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Why not you and 10 other girls. :D A tough job, but somebody gotta do the dirtywork
    I have a dream.. that one day my dick will be the size of the washington monument!<br>
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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by jakb
    ...Well to my surprise it is not as easy as it would seem. We both dont know how to go about finding the third party...
    Have you asked your girl if she had anyone in particular in mind (she may have a friend in mind)?? You can also try going to any number of swinger sites... there are usually alot of single females that create profiles there.


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  11. #11

    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    Don't fool yourselves... 3-somes are awesome. But swinging, group sex, the lifestyle, or what ever you want to call it isn't for everyone. You have to make sure that your relationship with your spouse or significant other is solid and that neither of you have any jealosy issues before seriously considering it or it will hurt your relationship.
    Yah sure maybe they are awesome for some people, but for those who find it awesome perhaps they have no qualms about using other people for their own hedonistic desires? Hey, I don't USE people in business, relationships, and other areas of life if I can help it and when I run across these kinds of people in real life, I choose not to associate with them. If they try to use me or my friends, well in the past they have found out the hard way that they had it coming. Some people use people for money, some people use people for sex, some people use people for war, but no matter how you use people to achieve your own selfish agenda it is always wrong in my book. Maybe I am a bit altruistic in my thinking, but I think when it comes to threesomes you are thinking "WELL THREESOMES ARE AWESOME FOR ME" but how do you speak for everyone else? Of course, birds of a feather flock together so maybe you have a point here.

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    You also need to be able to separate love from sex/lust as they are not the same. You must keep in mind that neither of you are looking to replace your partner but to simply enjoy the pleasures of sex (nothing more, nothing less). We view sex with other people as just another extension of our sexplay similar to using dildos for added pleasure (a man is just another dildo for her and a woman is a FleshLight for me). My wife and i discussed it for a year before actually jumping into it and we've never been happier.
    The difference between a dildo, FleshLight, or other sex toy and another human being is that the human being is someone worthy of respect (well certainly not all humans but in general most people deserve respect) and to think of using them like they are some tool is dehumanizing. Using other people as if they are little pets you play with is not too dissimiliar to how house slaves were treated in the south as the white male masters felt they could do what they wanted with the black women because they were more or less pets to them that they could use as they wish. Just because a bunch of consenting adults mutually agree to use each other for purely sexual purposes doesn't make it any different. You are still treating another human being like a pet even if they willingly consent to lowering themselves to that of a common animal.

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    That may be true for some but for most people in the lifestyle, it just isn't true. The couples that you meet in the lifestyle are next door types and just good all around people. I'm sure that there are poeple that are in it for the "high" as you put it but we've yet to meet one.
    Next door types? You mean suburban soccer moms bored out of their minds because they have nothing else going for them that can fulfill their excitement junkie status they earned back in the day when the fucked anything that moved? And what are all around good people really? Yah, maybe the couple you swing with seem like "all around good people" because it is human nature to be biased towards people you are screwing. I mean, would you willingly admit to proudly screw "bad people"? Hey, people who have no respect for their marriage cannot be trusted by me when it comes to non-opportunistic matters where people can only trusted so long as the situation is convenient to them. Whether you want to argue if people are good or not by that description is your own prerogative.

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    You're completely missing the point... maybe you should just enjoy sex for the simple pleasure that it is and quit intellectualizing it... you'll prolly enjoy it more.
    Unlike some of the other simple pleasures in life, sex often involves the feelings of other people and the creation of human life even if it is unintended. Not going to get into a debate about that, but to view sex as just another drug (even though it literally is), might as well reduce human beings to just being machines interacting with each other in some pre-programmed way. I think taking sex too seriously makes it into more than it really is, but by the same token to just treat it like some figment of the imagination of some stoned out hippie philosopher of the 60's where everything including sex is "just an experience" is kind of a naive way of looking at life if you ask me.


    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    Again, i disagree... his girl brought it up cuz she feel that she can openly talk to him about her fantasies without being afraid of him getting jealous or freaking out. That is a good start. Couples should endeavor to encourage open discussion about their likes, dislikes, and fantasies without fear of resentment. She has made a good first step and whether they ever decide to go thru with a 3-some or not, it doesn't matter because if nothing else, they're learning that they can openly talk about a touchy subject matter without worry or remorse of how the other will react. That is the beginning of a healthy relationship.
    I agree with this because talking these things out will let him know where she is coming from. Unfortunately, for most women if you are not the man who can help them live out their fantasies sexual or otherwise, they will try and find a better man who will if their confidence is high enough to do that. Yah certainly not all gals think this way (some actually have their head on straight), but women test guys all the time to see if they:

    (1) Can Be Manipulated
    (2) Are Afraid Of Their Own Shadow
    (3) Will Take Control In A Relationship

    Yah 1 and 3 kind of conflict with each other, but then again that is the conundrum that is women.

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    By definition, cheating means to get something by dishonesty. If both are willing participants how are they cheating??
    http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=cheating

    Cheating to me is going around the conventional rules for selfish purposes. There are good common sense reasons why polygamy is illegal in just about every western country and why it is still practiced in the backwater cultures of the world. I don't want to drag this discussion into moral relativism where anything goes, but you don't have to deceive someone in a dishonest way to cheat them. Do you think O.J. Simpson cheated the justice system even though he and Johnnie Cochran did everything by the book?

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    Nothing is ever as good as the fantasy, but that's not to say it's not good. What it is is different and variety is the spice of life... You are definitely right about being absolutely sure on whether you can deal with it or not before jumping in. You have to be able to get past any insecurities you may have... this is especially true if you plan on swapping with another couple or doing a 3-some with another guy. But since they are only considering a girl, most of the insecurities falls on his girl and if she's cool with it why shouldn't he be.
    Haha, the first time I came from a blow job things were way better than I could ever imagine. I thought my head and limbs were going to shoot off of my body from all the released pressure so it all boils down to expectations in matters of fantasy.

    Also, murdering people gives a lot of people a huge high once you get past the visceral reactions of seeing blood and guts and well I guess you could argue that adds some variety to life so it is OK to be pursued. I mean, those poor people were gonna die some day anyways, so why not use them for your own selfish and sick high of a power trip from taking another person's life? I mean, where do you draw the line intellectually on this slippery slope?

    Hedonism is hedonism and decadence is decadence. Everyone is guilty of it in some form or another, but just like murdering people for sport, a threesome is one of the extremes of hedonism I think most sane human beings should avoid. Just my two cents.

  12. #12
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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Jak I feel so bad for you! Such a problem. You DOG!!!!

  13. #13
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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Sikdogg,
    You rule man. My girl does trust me fully and we both feel VERY safe discussing anything without judgement. It would be a much better world if everyone could live without judging. I think there would be ALOT less unhappily divorced people if couples felt they could trust and discuss everything with their significant other. But unfortunately judgement/righteousness is the death of many relationships that could have been happy with a little more understanding and acceptance.

    She doesnt have a friend that she has in mind and we are trying to keep this aspect of our sex life out of our social circle.

    What swinger sites do you have in mind? I have tried adultfriendfinder but it hasnt happened there.

    Ctmwm,
    Laughed my ass off. IF it happens then I will definitely let you know.

    Mctfb,
    I disagree with your points, but then again differences is what makes life worth living. Not everybody has the same point of view and life would be boring if everyone did. But thank you for your concern.
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  14. #14
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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by MCTFB
    Yah sure maybe they are awesome for some people, but for those who find it awesome perhaps they have no qualms about using other people for their own hedonistic desires? Hey, I don't USE people in business, relationships, and other areas of life if I can help it and when I run across these kinds of people in real life, I choose not to associate with them. If they try to use me or my friends, well in the past they have found out the hard way that they had it coming. Some people use people for money, some people use people for sex, some people use people for war, but no matter how you use people to achieve your own selfish agenda it is always wrong in my book. Maybe I am a bit altruistic in my thinking, but I think when it comes to threesomes you are thinking "WELL THREESOMES ARE AWESOME FOR ME" but how do you speak for everyone else? Of course, birds of a feather flock together so maybe you have a point here.
    Bro i'm sory to say that everyone uses everyone, that's just the way society works. Sometime you ask for favors and other time you give it. As long as no one feels slighted or cheated, what's the problem. I'm not speaking for anyone else, just my self and anyone interested in exploring the subject.

    The difference between a dildo, FleshLight, or other sex toy and another human being is that the human being is someone worthy of respect (well certainly not all humans but in general most people deserve respect) and to think of using them like they are some tool is dehumanizing. Using other people as if they are little pets you play with is not too dissimiliar to how house slaves were treated in the south as the white male masters felt they could do what they wanted with the black women because they were more or less pets to them that they could use as they wish. Just because a bunch of consenting adults mutually agree to use each other for purely sexual purposes doesn't make it any different. You are still treating another human being like a pet even if they willingly consent to lowering themselves to that of a common animal.
    what are you talking about slaves... if a person or couple chooses to be used for sexual purposes, why do you even care... no one is asking you to do it. Why are you so fixed on putting labels on everything, why not just let each person live as they choose??

    Next door types? You mean suburban soccer moms bored out of their minds because they have nothing else going for them that can fulfill their excitement junkie status they earned back in the day when the fucked anything that moved? And what are all around good people really? Yah, maybe the couple you swing with seem like "all around good people" because it is human nature to be biased towards people you are screwing. I mean, would you willingly admit to proudly screw "bad people"? Hey, people who have no respect for their marriage cannot be trusted by me when it comes to non-opportunistic matters where people can only trusted so long as the situation is convenient to them. Whether you want to argue if people are good or not by that description is your own prerogative.
    Bro we meet all sorts of different couples and they are all open minded and don't judge people for what they do. You'd be surprised to know that most couples that we meet and play with are very educated working professionals (I myself have a master's degree in Business from a large school). I don't think that we've ever met the "lonely bored soccer mom" that you alluded to. Marriage is an agreement to live and stand by each other in good or bad times, how can two married people that both agree and consent to having sex with other people disrespecting marriage?

    Unlike some of the other simple pleasures in life, sex often involves the feelings of other people and the creation of human life even if it is unintended. Not going to get into a debate about that, but to view sex as just another drug (even though it literally is), might as well reduce human beings to just being machines interacting with each other in some pre-programmed way. I think taking sex too seriously makes it into more than it really is, but by the same token to just treat it like some figment of the imagination of some stoned out hippie philosopher of the 60's where everything including sex is "just an experience" is kind of a naive way of looking at life if you ask me.
    Humans do in fact interact in preprogrammed ways thru pheromones and other hormones that the body produces. You sound so bitter with regards to sex and i just don't understand why. Bro lighten up... no one is asking YOU to be a swinger as it is a personal choice. Do you also bash homosexuals and trans sexuals for not fitting in the world as you think it should be lived??

    I agree with this because talking these things out will let him know where she is coming from. Unfortunately, for most women if you are not the man who can help them live out their fantasies sexual or otherwise, they will try and find a better man who will if their confidence is high enough to do that. Yah certainly not all gals think this way (some actually have their head on straight), but women test guys all the time to see if they:

    (1) Can Be Manipulated
    (2) Are Afraid Of Their Own Shadow
    (3) Will Take Control In A Relationship

    Yah 1 and 3 kind of conflict with each other, but then again that is the conundrum that is women.
    Bro, a dating relationship is about finding a compatible partner for the purposes of a long tern commitment (marriage). If one finds that their current partner's like and dislikes differ too much from their own, it is their responsibility to find one that is a better match for them. Yes i agree that both men and women test each other, but why not. Until they've decided to make a long term commitment to each other they owe it to themselves to find the best person for them.

    Also, murdering people gives a lot of people a huge high once you get past the visceral reactions of seeing blood and guts and well I guess you could argue that adds some variety to life so it is OK to be pursued. I mean, those poor people were gonna die some day anyways, so why not use them for your own selfish and sick high of a power trip from taking another person's life? I mean, where do you draw the line intellectually on this slippery slope?

    Hedonism is hedonism and decadence is decadence. Everyone is guilty of it in some form or another, but just like murdering people for sport, a threesome is one of the extremes of hedonism I think most sane human beings should avoid. Just my two cents.
    So you're equating murder with doing a 3-some?? You just don't understand what the lifestyle is about and i'm not inclined to explain it to you further... it's not about any power trips or taking advantage of anyone. People are free to do as much or as little as they please without judgements or labels. There are rules and protocols that one must follow, it's not a free for all where you fuck anyone if you want to and use them as you please... everything is not black and white and fits neatly in your world. There are grey areas that some people are comfortable living in that most aren't. And what's wrong with hedonism?? I guess i must be insane cuz i choose not to avoid it. Thanks for your two cents... you're welcome to your opinions and (although i think you're a little uptight in some of your beliefs) you're free to live your life as you choose, free from labels and judgements.

    Damn, that was long i thought it would never end...


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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by jakb
    Sikdogg,
    ...My girl does trust me fully and we both feel VERY safe discussing anything without judgement. It would be a much better world if everyone could live without judging. I think there would be ALOT less unhappily divorced people if couples felt they could trust and discuss everything with their significant other. But unfortunately judgement/righteousness is the death of many relationships that could have been happy with a little more understanding and acceptance.
    Couldn't have said it better myself...

    She doesnt have a friend that she has in mind and we are trying to keep this aspect of our sex life out of our social circle.
    We also try to keep our swing lifestyle (horizontal friends) separate from our family and friends (vertical friends), but it's interesting that as my wife discusses the lifestyle with some of her very very close friends they are actually very interested in the subject and several have expressed a very strong interest in possibly joining us in a 3-some or 4-some (with their partner). We haven't decide on whether we want to go this route or not. It's really up to the wife at this point. We have a simple rule regarding our lifestyle in that she has the last/final decision on which girl we invite to join us, like wise, i have the same authority regarding guys that we invite. Each person's decision is final and cannot be disputed. We've found that this has allowed us to be more comfortable with the people that we play with and has eliminated any/all jealosy issues.

    What swinger sites do you have in mind? I have tried adultfriendfinder but it hasnt happened there...
    Bro PM me and i'll be happy to talk about different sites offline. We didn't liked AFF either.


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  16. #16

    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Hey Sikdogg, not trying to turn this into a flame war or change your views behind my computer monitor, just putting some intellectual discussion out here. And I am not judging you so lopping in homosexuals and transsexuals into the discussion is irrelevant.

    My point is not about judging people but by advocating that there are indeed major risks for going to extremes and when it comes to sex the risk is you develop a fetish which makes simple lovemaking pointless.

    I mean, think about it this way. If you need some really special fetish to "get you off" then you are not very efficient sexually as you need more than someone not desensitized by porn, extreme sex, bizarre fetishes etc. That is why people who brag about being "more extreme" than the next guy are pretty silly if the next guy can be just as happy with less. The person who is more "extreme" and lives a lifestyle of being extreme is just less efficient at getting his jollies to keep those hormones in your brain telling you that you are happy.

    This is why wise men since the advent of civilization in just about every culture have advocated moderation and sorry bro, but threesomes and orgies are not what is generally considered a moderate sexual lifestyle. Hey, if I could take back some things in my life which have desensitized me to various aspects of life such as sex, violence, stress then I probably would because the long term consequences make me less efficient at being happy than someone who leads a more humble lifestyle.

    Nobody is trying to judge anyone here, but if you cannot see the stupidity in allowing yourself to be programmed to only be receptive to more and more extreme content in your life, then I guess you are blind to the science behind how the human mind adapts to life experiences good or bad.

  17. #17
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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    You say that you're not judging but that's exactly what you've been doing since your first post. Jakb never asked for opinions on whether he should get involved with 3-some or not, but simply how should he go about finding a third partner. He had already made up his mind to do it. It was your first post that triggered your holier-than-thou attitude. I just simply responded with my thoughts and experience on the subject, which i have alot of and you have none of.

    You talk about matters that you simply have no idea about. Getting involved in a 3-some is not fetish nor is it extreme. In fact it's alot more commonplace than you would think (have you seriously talked to a typical highschool/college kid lately). You passed judgement that because i practice and need extreme sex, that i'm somehow depraved or unable to enjoy one-on-one sex without knowing anything more than the fact that my wife and i enjoy sex with other people and/or group sex. The fact is that we do this only several time a month and the rest of the time we enjoy our time together. We are very close and talk about everything. We prolly have sex 5-6 times a week BY OUR SELVES and it is very satisfying. We don't have a need to have sex with other people, we choose to for the pure pleasure of it and when the time comes that one or both of us no longer wants to do it, we will stop no questions asked. That is our agreement to one another. We are closer and prolly have a better relationship than you could ever experience because we simply hear each other and refuse to judge each other's decision and/or action. This is what allows us to participate in what you call extreme sex and still come out the best of lovers and friends.

    Bottom line is that you claim that you're not passing judgement but that's exactly what you've done since your first post... and yes i must be stupid because i'm allowing myself to be programmed to only be receptive to more and more extreme content in my life and that i'm also blind to the science behind how the human mind adapts to life experiences good or bad. Thank you o holier-than-thou for opening my eyes to my misguided ways, may i burn in eternal fire for not agreeing with you.
    Last edited by sikdogg; 09-14-04 at 02:25 AM.


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  18. #18

    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    You say that you're not judging but that's exactly what you've been doing since your first post. Jakb never asked for opinions on whether he should get involved with 3-some or not, but simply how should he go about finding a third partner. He had already made up his mind to do it. It was your first post that triggered your holier-than-thou attitude. I just simply responded with my thoughts and experience on the subject, which i have alot of and you have none of.
    Already made up his mind to do it? Maybe maybe not. If he made up his mind, why would he seek advice? Often when you seek advice and know all the facts you can change your mind. And please don't give me some Jerry Springer audience member psychobabble about I have a "holier-than-thou" attitude and "you have no right to judge me". Guess what dude, I am not judging you, but you assume anyone who tries to argue the costs and benefits of engaging in extreme sex as if there are actual psychological negatives is "judging you". Seriously, I have no idea who you are nor do I really care. Swingers are a dime a dozen as are people who will fuck anything that moves, so your "experience on the subject" is irrelevant considering I could go walk down the street to the titty bar and ask some lonely patrons and/or strippers if threesomes are a good thing or not. I find it a bit hypocritical that you would call me "holier-than-thou" yet at the same time pretend you are in some elite group of super swingers out there whose libido is unmatched by those idiots who choose to live in monogamous relationships. Who is judging who now?

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    You talk about matters that you simply have no idea about.
    Last time I checked it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that men are highly aroused by the sight of multiples of naked and horny women. Wow ingenious!


    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    Getting involved in a 3-some is not fetish nor is it extreme.
    I never said a threesome was a fetish, but I did suggest threesomes are in the league of extreme sex. If you think Bukkake porn is the threshhold for what constitutes extreme sex, well then your mind is already warped so far beyond normal reality from porn and orgies that I just don't see us finding common ground. And just because I said threesomes are a form of extreme sex, did not mean I said they were good or bad, rather I was suggesting originally that extreme sex such as threesomes has consequences very few people really consider.

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    In fact it's alot more commonplace than you would think (have you seriously talked to a typical highschool/college kid lately).
    No shit sherlock. Of course, our country is becoming more and more illiterate and the effects of widespread porn on our society have only recently taken hold. Whether you want to argue that as being a good thing or a bad thing is another debate, but threesomes and other forms of extreme sex is undoubtedly the result of programming via pornography. An ex-girlfriend of mine used to have a boyfriend who had a pissing fetish. Why did he? Well the first time he came the gal he was with pissed on him. The fact that his first sexually pleasurable experience occurred while getting pissed on associated pissing with sexual pleasure deep within his brain. Porn does the same thing when you masturbate to it and since I don't want to get into a lengthy explanation of how human intelligence associates experiences and learning, lets just say you can pretty much socially program someone with a predisposition to be homosexual to be straight and someone who has a predisposition to be heterosexual to be homosexual, just as you can spread mass propaganda to control a country politically. Human beings are open to suggestion so just because there is a multibillion dollar industry which actively tries to program its customers to keep buying more and more of their product just as Coca-Cola tries to do the same with advertisements associating its product with "good feelings", means zilcho with the bi-with-boyfriend trend in world popular culture.

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    You passed judgement that because i practice and need extreme sex, that i'm somehow depraved or unable to enjoy one-on-one sex without knowing anything more than the fact that my wife and i enjoy sex with other people and/or group sex.
    Where did I say you were depraved? For crying out loud, the fact you are getting all sensitive about this makes me think I am mistakenly talking to a lesbian giving advice on how to pick up single guys for a threesome. Seriously, I don't care who you and your wife choose to screw or what the nature of your relationship is whether you cheat on each other right in plain view, or you do it behind each other's back. You share your wife with other people and to me that is just fucked up and most mainstream cultures around the world would tend to agree with that position. Nevertheless, that is not the point. The point is that if you engage in heighened sexual acts where something extra is associated with the pleasurable experience for too long, your brain will become hardwired to only be receptive to that little extra you added into your sexual practices. That "little extra" is a fetish. Can you stop swinging and go back to one one one sex and be happy or will you always constantly crave the taste and touch of the flesh of other people? Could you ever quit swinging cold turkey and go back to things the way they used to be? If not, well then it shows you need more for less when it comes to sexual gratification.

    [/QUOTE]The fact is that we do this only several time a month and the rest of the time we enjoy our time together.[/QUOTE]

    Only several times a month? Seems like a pretty regular part of your "lifestyle" now. I mean, could you go back to not swinging and still enjoy each other just as much? You see my point? If you were happy with just your wife and she was just happy with you, you would not feel the need to get fulfillment from other people sexually?

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    We are very close and talk about everything. We prolly have sex 5-6 times a week BY OUR SELVES and it is very satisfying. We don't have a need to have sex with other people, we choose to for the pure pleasure of it and when the time comes that one or both of us no longer wants to do it, we will stop no questions asked.
    Well good for you and your wife being close, but an ex-GF of mine who was previously married used to swing with her ex-husband. Anyways, I should of ran from her immediately because lets just say she had some serious issues, but he gave the same line and well lets just say human beings have their own brains so speaking for someone else as a couple is pretty naive if you ask me. Plus, the way sex lights up the dopamine receptors in your brain could be argued to be one of the most addictive drugs on the planet (hey before the age of birth control it kept the species going), so you saying "oh well we will just quit fucking other people when the time comes" is easy to say but every couple I have known who got involved in swinging is 10 years down the road either separated or else living together as basically roommates for "the sake of the kids". Please and while I am at it, I will stop masturbating to porn because it offends Jesus. Hahahaha!

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    That is our agreement to one another. We are closer and prolly have a better relationship than you could ever experience because we simply hear each other and refuse to judge each other's decision and/or action. This is what allows us to participate in what you call extreme sex and still come out the best of lovers and friends.
    And again you say I am "holier-than-thou"? Plllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeassssssse. MY RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN YOURS is sooooooooo high school. No idea what your age is but I would imagine you are older than me which makes these words kind of funny coming from what I would assume is a 30 year old plus man. Yah, my relationship is great with my straight girlfriend right now, and no we don't go to swinger parties or shove weird objects up each others asses, but we have a lot of fun doing other things besides sex, though last night after about an hour and a half of me pumping her, she got on top and sprayed the walls with a massive orgasm that would likely make you jealous. But then again she is with me, MCTFB.

    Quote Originally Posted by sikdogg
    Bottom line is that you claim that you're not passing judgement but that's exactly what you've done since your first post... and yes i must be stupid because i'm allowing myself to be programmed to only be receptive to more and more extreme content in my life and that i'm also blind to the science behind how the human mind adapts to life experiences good or bad. Thank you o holier-than-thou for opening my eyes to my misguided ways, may i burn in eternal fire for not agreeing with you.
    I think it is clear you have the holier-than-thou attitude. Though if you are going to use the holier-than-thou argument on someone it might help if you had a leg or two to stand on. I will take a wild guess that you don't practice any particular faith, so criticizing other people for being "holier-than-thou" as a jab to them believing in god (as if that is a bad thing) is about the biggest form of hypocrisy you can find these days among moral relativists who are too chicken to make decisions on right and wrong because it might involve having to look in the mirror someday and not liking what they see.

    And the funniest thing is that even though I am not passing judgement on you (I only do that with people I care about in life or who I am directly involved with personally) I can pass judgement on you and there is not a damned thing you can do about it, except either choose to ignore it or childishly allow the unfavorable opinion someone has on you or your lifestyle mess with your head. If you are so proud of your lifestyle, why do you act so insecure when one person "gasp" actually suggests that maybe sharing your woman with another person, man or woman is not all it is cracked up to be and that on any discussion forum someone coming up with a devil's advocate position is actually a good thing?

    Or is it just that anyone who thinks swinging and threesomes is not a good thing is closed-minded even though they have turned down numerous opportunities themselves (not including just calling up some escorts or going to a brothel which any scHydromaxuck can do if you have the money) for FFM threesomes because they maybe take some care as to what kind of experiences get dumped into their cranial region because extreme experiences can permanently alter your brain chemistry in a negative way?

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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    MCTFB, bro whatever... i was gonna reply to your post but it's just to tedious and i just don't have the energy today. I think we've highjacked this thread long enough. Why don't you re-read Jakb's first and second post again, he clearly was not asking for advice on whether to do a 3-some or not but HOW to find a girl to join him and his GF. Bro, life is all about experiences and you only get to live it once, don't be so afraid of the unkown or of falling down and scraping knee. It happens and you grow from it, this is what it means to live. You sound like a smart guy, but i think you over analyze things and i definitely think you need to get off your soapbox. Do what's good for you and i'll do the same... 'nuff said.

    See ya around the board... and no hard feelings.


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    Re: My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

    Sikdogg,

    Thank you. Now back to the business at hand. Finding me a girl for a threesome. Sikdogg has given me some great links and advice for me. If anybody else has some constructive input on how to help me fulfill this endeavor it would be appreciated.
    Don't think you are... KNOW
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